There are so many post in draft stages. The thought flow broke with a few distractions and I never seemed to able to get back.
The weekends go by in a blur! My husband leaves no opportunity to rub it in my face as to how much I am missing out on in life. He woke up at 6 am and went to play football. Got back at around 9:15 only to have tea, read newspaper, bathe, and have breakfast. He headed out at ten to play badminton. As he reached the lift, he told me not to expect him back before 5 pm. Now is he lucky or what!!! I wanna go out and toss a ball, play badminton, go for a trek with my friends. Boo Hooo!! Where is all the fun in my life??
Neha keeps tossing some funny stuff my way. The other day this happened:
I was busy pottering around the house, vaguely aware that Neha is mumbling something. Did not pay too much attention really. Then she asks me, "Mamma, are we Indians?"
Me: "Yes, Dear. Of course we are." (wondering what this is gonna lead to)
Neha: "Then you are my sister?" (Shock and perplex written all across her face)
Me: (Equally puzzled) "Come on. You know I am your mother."
Neha: "But the Pledge** says that - All Indians are my brothers and sisters."
Then I did what my motherly instincts indicated that I do in such a situation. I rolled on the floor and laughed!!
That kid of mine really throws these googlies at me every once in a while.
** The Indian Pledge. She says the pledge during school assembly.
Have a nice day!!
Showing posts with label Humour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humour. Show all posts
Friday, September 3, 2010
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Just rambling...
I am having a Tingling Tuesday. I am tingling to go shopping and blow up a crazy amount of money (which I don't have). Is there no good left in the world? Whatever happened to free makeovers for homes and people?? They don't seem to do that kind of stuff these days. Sigh! Wishful thinking!
Of late, I have become very impatient with impatient people. :D With my new found patience and icy cool exterior (I am working on the interior, too), I am handling the chaos around me rather well, thank you.
I have two friends, one who likes to steal thunder and another who hates her thunder being stolen. The other day, they both landed up at my place. After about 20 mins, my eyes started rotating in its socket. They were both talking at the same time trying to outdo one another to be heard. Yeah, it was fun!
Also, I wonder :
- why there are 21 followers on my dashboard, but when I get into my page, there are only 20.? Hmmmmm!!!
- why is it that if I have (let's assume) 20 followers, I get only 4- 6 comments? Come on guys, I am sure you can find it in your heart to type in a teeny, weeny comment. Yeah, yeah I know I can add on some gadget/feedjit kinda thing that will let me know how many hits I've had. Actually, I did try, but it seems to have been programmed to get into my mailbox rather than feature on the page! I seem to have two left hands!
- where 80% of the bloggers on my blog roll have gone? Some have not updated for months, one as long as a year. Solilo, Where are you?
That is all I have to rant about today. Have a nice day!
Of late, I have become very impatient with impatient people. :D With my new found patience and icy cool exterior (I am working on the interior, too), I am handling the chaos around me rather well, thank you.
I have two friends, one who likes to steal thunder and another who hates her thunder being stolen. The other day, they both landed up at my place. After about 20 mins, my eyes started rotating in its socket. They were both talking at the same time trying to outdo one another to be heard. Yeah, it was fun!
Also, I wonder :- why there are 21 followers on my dashboard, but when I get into my page, there are only 20.? Hmmmmm!!!
- why is it that if I have (let's assume) 20 followers, I get only 4- 6 comments? Come on guys, I am sure you can find it in your heart to type in a teeny, weeny comment. Yeah, yeah I know I can add on some gadget/feedjit kinda thing that will let me know how many hits I've had. Actually, I did try, but it seems to have been programmed to get into my mailbox rather than feature on the page! I seem to have two left hands!
- where 80% of the bloggers on my blog roll have gone? Some have not updated for months, one as long as a year. Solilo, Where are you?
That is all I have to rant about today. Have a nice day!
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Benefits of Yoga vs Benefits of Drinking
This is just too hilarious. The benefits of yoga and drinking boil down to the same thing. Have a good laugh!
Dolphin Pose
Excellent for the shoulder area, thorax, legs, and arms
Balasana or Child Pose
Position that brings the sensation of peace and calm
Ananda Balasana or Happy Baby Pose
This position is great for massaging the hip area
Shalabhasana or Locust Pose
Great exercise to stimulate the lumbar area, legs, and arms
Setu Bandha Sarvangasana or Bridge Pose
This position calms the brain and heals tired legs
Cat Stretch
Position stimulates the midriff area and the spinal column
Malasana or Garland pose
This position, for ankles and back muscles
Halasana or Plough Pose
Excellent for back pain and insomnia
Have a great day and remember to give thanks....
Dolphin Pose
Excellent for the shoulder area, thorax, legs, and arms
Balasana or Child PosePosition that brings the sensation of peace and calm
Ananda Balasana or Happy Baby PoseThis position is great for massaging the hip area
Shalabhasana or Locust PoseGreat exercise to stimulate the lumbar area, legs, and arms
Setu Bandha Sarvangasana or Bridge Pose
This position calms the brain and heals tired legs
Cat StretchPosition stimulates the midriff area and the spinal column
Malasana or Garland pose
This position, for ankles and back muscles
Halasana or Plough Pose
Excellent for back pain and insomnia
Have a great day and remember to give thanks....
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
A Lesson for Men
I just could not resist putting up this one.
Lesson for Men - Women gotta love this one!
A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The woman took out her wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some wine with it instead of dinner?"
"No," I had to stop drinking years ago, the homeless woman replied.
"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" the woman asked.
"No," I don't waste time shopping, the homeless woman said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?" the woman asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless woman. "I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!"
"Well," said the woman, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going t o take you out for dinner with my husband and myself tonight.
The homeless Woman was astounded. "Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."
The woman replied, "That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments and wine."
Lesson for Men - Women gotta love this one!
A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The woman took out her wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some wine with it instead of dinner?"
"No," I had to stop drinking years ago, the homeless woman replied.
"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" the woman asked.
"No," I don't waste time shopping, the homeless woman said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?" the woman asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless woman. "I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!"
"Well," said the woman, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going t o take you out for dinner with my husband and myself tonight.
The homeless Woman was astounded. "Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."
The woman replied, "That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments and wine."
Friday, April 2, 2010
My lil' girl!
Yes, I did take another long break, didn’t I? It started with me being upset over something, then I took a break and visited Vizag. Travelling to me is hard work. I am not a travel person anymore. All journeys seem tiresome. But I definitely have learned to pack better.
One good thing is that now I know that it is easier to travel with my daughter. She was an absolute darling on this trip. There are some things that Neha accepts very easily. For a 6 year old she is rather mature in her understanding of relationships and the unchangeable aspects of life and death. Her family bonds are very strong and though she will not easily warm up to neighbors or family friends that easily, once I tell her that someone is related to us, she lets her guard down and mingles with them like she’s known them for years.
On the over night train journey back from Vizag, she was at her ultimate best. We had a whale of a time. She would hail all the hawkers who walked through the train. They would look at me thinking I would buy their stuff and I would say ‘no’. There was this elderly couple who thoroughly enjoyed her antics.
Suddenly she asks me, “Mamma, How old was Thatha (Paternal grandfather)?
Me: 67
Neha: Ok. So when we are 67, we will die?
Me: (Knowing where all this is heading) Maybe.
Neha: Ok. So first Pappa will die, then you, then me, right?
Me: (not wanting to elaborate too much) Kind of. We can’t really say.
Now I am really not prepared for what follows. :D
Neha : Ok. Ok. So do one thing, mamma. You give me the keys.
Me: KEYS?? What Keys?
Neha: You know, keys to the house and bike. Also, teach me how to ride the bike, so that I can manage easily.
Me: (impressed as hell) You don’t want the car keys?
Neha: That I will learn eventually. First teach me how to ride the bike!
Neha was exposed to the harsh reality of death when my F-I-L passed away last May. I explained to her just as much as a 5 year old would need to know. I expected nightmares and stuff because we had the body at home for 3 full days, but Neha did not probe too much. Neither did she wake up in cold sweat. She accepted death as an eventuality. She did ask me how she would manage, if I were to die and told me that she did not want me to die. But other than that, there were no real concerns.
Her sense of humor is getting sharper by the day. After waking up, we normally spend a few minutes in bed, cuddling. Yesterday morning, she tell me that, “My name is Neha and I really have to go to the toilet.” Like the line in the movie My Name is Khan, “My name is Khan and I am not a terrorist.” I laughed so hard, I had tears.
By the way, did you all watch that movie? I thought it was exceptional!
One good thing is that now I know that it is easier to travel with my daughter. She was an absolute darling on this trip. There are some things that Neha accepts very easily. For a 6 year old she is rather mature in her understanding of relationships and the unchangeable aspects of life and death. Her family bonds are very strong and though she will not easily warm up to neighbors or family friends that easily, once I tell her that someone is related to us, she lets her guard down and mingles with them like she’s known them for years.
On the over night train journey back from Vizag, she was at her ultimate best. We had a whale of a time. She would hail all the hawkers who walked through the train. They would look at me thinking I would buy their stuff and I would say ‘no’. There was this elderly couple who thoroughly enjoyed her antics.
Suddenly she asks me, “Mamma, How old was Thatha (Paternal grandfather)?
Me: 67
Neha: Ok. So when we are 67, we will die?
Me: (Knowing where all this is heading) Maybe.
Neha: Ok. So first Pappa will die, then you, then me, right?
Me: (not wanting to elaborate too much) Kind of. We can’t really say.
Now I am really not prepared for what follows. :D
Neha : Ok. Ok. So do one thing, mamma. You give me the keys.
Me: KEYS?? What Keys?
Neha: You know, keys to the house and bike. Also, teach me how to ride the bike, so that I can manage easily.
Me: (impressed as hell) You don’t want the car keys?
Neha: That I will learn eventually. First teach me how to ride the bike!
Neha was exposed to the harsh reality of death when my F-I-L passed away last May. I explained to her just as much as a 5 year old would need to know. I expected nightmares and stuff because we had the body at home for 3 full days, but Neha did not probe too much. Neither did she wake up in cold sweat. She accepted death as an eventuality. She did ask me how she would manage, if I were to die and told me that she did not want me to die. But other than that, there were no real concerns.
Her sense of humor is getting sharper by the day. After waking up, we normally spend a few minutes in bed, cuddling. Yesterday morning, she tell me that, “My name is Neha and I really have to go to the toilet.” Like the line in the movie My Name is Khan, “My name is Khan and I am not a terrorist.” I laughed so hard, I had tears.
By the way, did you all watch that movie? I thought it was exceptional!
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
It ain't funny!
Though many people tell me that I have immense patience, personally I feel that I have the patience of an active volcano. I am the telling-what’s-on-my-mind-and-getting-on-with-it-types. My husband is the bury-it-all-in-the-crevices-of-the-mind-and-screw-up-your-own-health kinds. The Capricorn that I am and the Taurus that my daughter is, we have this highly explosive relationship. One minute we are practically tearing each other up and the next we are cuddling and having a whale of a time. My husband is thoroughly confused. In the beginning he would step in and try and call the shots. But then one glare from the both of us and he would have no choice but to back off. The whole sight is so funny.
I am the planning and strategy kind of person and my daughter is the strategy killer. I mean she will take all my hours of planning and shove it down the drain, without as much as a thought. And then I am left at the drawing board once again. The other day, she got this question paper that she was to solve at home. It was the regular stuff that has been covered in school so many times. So when she asked me a question, I told her that by now she must be so used to this and that she should figure it out. Then as I went on with my work, there was silence. I thought that she was busy tackling the paper. Now I must at this stage tell you that my daughter likes to think that she is agile and smart. (She actually is!) But I am her sharp mamma with super sharp sense of sight, hearing etc. I heard the sound of the chair moving ever so lightly and then Neha whizzing from the table to the place where her bag was kept. It took me another nano-second to figure out what was going on. She was quickly taking a sneak-peak at her book and dashing to the table to write the answers!!! Cheeky little monster!! Look at that kid! She is always looking at ways to outsmart me. And I am soooo freaked out. Now I can see nothing as ordinary. Remember Mr. Wilson in Dennis the Menace? :D
Yesterday, my neighbour and I was discussing about how to get rid of this rat that we sighted near our plants. Neha immediately told us that we should not kill rats. We had the Why look. “We should not kill rats. Rats are also hooman beings like us!” I explained to her later what we found so funny but not before we were practically on the floor laughing.
Whenever I want to drive home a point, like say talking to strangers etc., it does not register in Neha’s mind. She had this don’t-give-me-that-bull shit look. So I started this trend of telling stories about some character ( 100% non-existent) from my childhood who suffered because of not following the rules. I thought that it drove home the point better. One day I was telling her one such made-up story when she asked me, “Mamma, are any of your friends alive?? Everybody from your childhood seems to have died of something or the other.” And in fact the other day, it was my husband’s story telling time and I heard Neha tell him, “ Pappa, do you know that when mamma was a little girl, weird things happened to all her friends! Do you know any such stories?”
My younger brother, who Neha has minimal contact with, seems to be the sufferer in most stories related to handling sharp objects like scissors, kitchen knives etc. So just when she picked up a hammer the other day, I said, “Neha, put that down right away. You can get hurt real bad.” Her response left me wonder-eyed whether I should bother with such tactics any more. “What mamma? Did your brother get hurt with this too?”
Don’t laugh, you guys!! Life is cruel!
Friday, January 8, 2010
Funny incidents
The other day, I took Neha over to a friend’s house. In the main hall, there was this big treasure chest, a décor item. I was busy chatting away with my friend and Neha struck up a conversation with my friend’s 13 year old daughter, Nitya. Normally when Neha is in the same room as me, I am a lot calmer. You can see the tension in me when the radar cannot spot her. I can hardly have a sane conversation.
Anyways, the older girl was practically in splits over something Neha was saying. Now that Neha is vocal about everything, there is the added fear of family secrets tumbling out!!! :D Then Nitya tells us that Neha was telling her that if she opens the box (the treasure chest) there might be gold and precious stones in it. And that Nitya and her family will become super rich and when people from far and wide come to see the box, they will have $$ signs in place of eye balls!!!
It was all we needed to roll around and laugh. All the cartoons Neha watch are taking effect, these days. I do keep tabs but the other day she switched over to another channel, where a guy was making a missile out of his snort. He just kept blowing his nose till he had a sizeable amount, which he then rolled up and threw at somebody!! Yuck! How gross! Now I definitely don’t want her trying that out or even better inciting somebody to do it. Oh, Neha is famous for encouraging her friends to do weird stuff! :D
My friend told me how when Nitya was about Neha’s age and she clobbered her on the head with some toy of hers. You can imagine how it would feel if you are clobbered, unsuspectingly. Well, my friend was not amused either. When she asked Nitya why she did it, she said she saw that in a cartoon and she wanted to see stars and birds on top of her mom’s head when she got clobbered! :D
And another time, she saw Nitya sneaking around with something. When she tiptoed around to see what it was, she was sneaking eggs into her room. When my friend asked her what she was up to, she said that she was going to sit on them to get them to hatch!!! :D
We had such a hearty laugh over these kids. When some of these annoying things happen, it really is not funny. In fact, it is the opposite of funny. But later as you look back, you cannot help but laugh.
Neha has lots of hairclips in all shapes and sizes. One of her favourite past time about 2 years back, was to get a lot of these clips, get a comb and get to work on our hair. My husband used to be wary of just sitting around on weekends. Many a time people have walked into the house to find a very funny looking man. He would just throw his hands up in the air and everybody would understand. With my longer hair, it would be a nightmare to get the hair clips off.
One day, Neha came and sat behind me as I watched TV. And she began pressing these clips into the hair. Or so I thought. After about 20 odd clicks and maybe what really got me thinking was that the program I was watching was interrupted by ads. I was saying, “ Neha, enough already!” But she did not stop. Then I thought - Hey, how is she managing to pick up a clip and click it on my hair so fast and how many clips did she really get? And I turned back to find out the truth. She got the gas lighter, was placing it on my head and clicking it as I would on the gas stove!!!! I practically jumped and had the fright of my life!!! Neha was really amused. I made a mental note to keep gas lighter further away from reach.
Do any of you have any such funny incidents to share??
Anyways, the older girl was practically in splits over something Neha was saying. Now that Neha is vocal about everything, there is the added fear of family secrets tumbling out!!! :D Then Nitya tells us that Neha was telling her that if she opens the box (the treasure chest) there might be gold and precious stones in it. And that Nitya and her family will become super rich and when people from far and wide come to see the box, they will have $$ signs in place of eye balls!!!
It was all we needed to roll around and laugh. All the cartoons Neha watch are taking effect, these days. I do keep tabs but the other day she switched over to another channel, where a guy was making a missile out of his snort. He just kept blowing his nose till he had a sizeable amount, which he then rolled up and threw at somebody!! Yuck! How gross! Now I definitely don’t want her trying that out or even better inciting somebody to do it. Oh, Neha is famous for encouraging her friends to do weird stuff! :D
My friend told me how when Nitya was about Neha’s age and she clobbered her on the head with some toy of hers. You can imagine how it would feel if you are clobbered, unsuspectingly. Well, my friend was not amused either. When she asked Nitya why she did it, she said she saw that in a cartoon and she wanted to see stars and birds on top of her mom’s head when she got clobbered! :D
And another time, she saw Nitya sneaking around with something. When she tiptoed around to see what it was, she was sneaking eggs into her room. When my friend asked her what she was up to, she said that she was going to sit on them to get them to hatch!!! :D
We had such a hearty laugh over these kids. When some of these annoying things happen, it really is not funny. In fact, it is the opposite of funny. But later as you look back, you cannot help but laugh.
Neha has lots of hairclips in all shapes and sizes. One of her favourite past time about 2 years back, was to get a lot of these clips, get a comb and get to work on our hair. My husband used to be wary of just sitting around on weekends. Many a time people have walked into the house to find a very funny looking man. He would just throw his hands up in the air and everybody would understand. With my longer hair, it would be a nightmare to get the hair clips off.
One day, Neha came and sat behind me as I watched TV. And she began pressing these clips into the hair. Or so I thought. After about 20 odd clicks and maybe what really got me thinking was that the program I was watching was interrupted by ads. I was saying, “ Neha, enough already!” But she did not stop. Then I thought - Hey, how is she managing to pick up a clip and click it on my hair so fast and how many clips did she really get? And I turned back to find out the truth. She got the gas lighter, was placing it on my head and clicking it as I would on the gas stove!!!! I practically jumped and had the fright of my life!!! Neha was really amused. I made a mental note to keep gas lighter further away from reach.
Do any of you have any such funny incidents to share??
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Playing Footsie
When I went for my daughter's last PTA, along with the progress report, we were given a discount coupon from a recently opened Beauty Salon. The salon was run by the parents’ of my daughter’s classmate. Being more interested in the matter at hand, I just shoved the coupon into my purse. I am not much into these salons. I have a lady who comes home and takes care of my basic beauty requirements (how cool is that!!!). It is only for pedicures that I venture out of my comfort zone. I can be considered the resident expert on pedicures offered by the salons in my area.
So here I am, aching for a pedicure and this new salon has been calling out to me. With my husband doing the babysitting, I darted off to this salon with my neighbor N (who happens to be rather new to the city). I told N that being a Pratyusha (my daughter’s school) mom entitles me to a discount. I was delirious with joy to discover that it was a 50% discount!! After the exchange of pleasantries, we settled down to business. There were two pedicure stations set up side by side. At the initial glance I knew something was amiss. But I guessed that they would work it out. I don’t really like to jump the gun and create a fuss. So patiently I waited as the procedure began. I could immediately make out that the two stations were distinctly different from the other. And so were the people attending to us.
I had a basin to soak my feet. By the time the lady filled the basin and went back to heat more water, it would already be cold. I was slowly boiling with anger. Then she began scrubbing. I had to tell her to stop, for fear that she was skinning me. It hurt that much. Then the cleaning under the nails felt almost as if she was trying to scoop out my nails. I had a clear understanding of what it must have felt like in a ‘concentration camp’! It just went on and on this like this. Then she gets up, tells me that her client has come ( duh, what was I??) and hands me over to another lady. This old and skinny lady looked like she would die as she massaged (and clawed) at my legs. I actually asked her to stop. Then she started clumping the nail polish on my nails. I just could not take it anymore, asked her to stop and told her that my 5-year old can apply nail paint better. Yes, I was pissed!
While I was being subjected to this obvious torture, I saw my friend relaxing at her station with a magazine in hand, totally enjoying herself. The seat she, had that bubbling hot water contraption, a holder to rest the leg for scrubbing. And the quality of the pedicure itself was so different and meticulous (the resident expert is talking!!!). She finished off by wiping her leg and feet with a wet hot towel and applied the nail paint with love. Witnessing this preferential treatment, was painful. I was contemplating on letting the owner know what I felt about her Salon.
As we footing the bill, without even checking, she applied a blanket discount too. So not only did my friend get the better end of the deal, she walked away with a discount too!!! Yes, my life sucks!! Hey, I have nothing against my friend getting the discount, but look at my rotten luck!!
The reason I am not really big into discounts is because I always end up regretting it. If it is a product/equipment, it won’t last. If it is a dress, u can bet your ass that it will tear/is already torn/ or won’t survive the first wash. Once recently, I had visited another new beauty salon for a pedicure (yeah, I like the works when it comes to pedicure and besides I don’t do it as often as I would like to. So I really have big expectations of this). The pedicure was awesome. The lady told me that I am entitled to a free facial. I declined the offer. The lady got slightly offended and told me that I should not consider it so-so, just because it is free. I still declined. No free stuff for me. Thanks. What is the point in having nice feet and scarred face. No thanks! I must have looked like a jack ass to her!!! I mean, who does not like freebies. But it just does not work for me. The moment I see the word ‘free’, I am sure there is something wrong with it!
My question to you is: Would you go back and give the owner of that Salon a dressing down? What would you say? I am contemplating between never going back and going back, letting her have it, and making it work for me.
P.S: Now you would say: Serves you right! Why don’t you find a nice salon and stick to it? Well, these places were much closer home. Since time is always a scarcity for me, a parlor near-by, is always better.
P.S again: When my friend and I were leaving the salon after that eventful pedicure, the lady handed us compliments. My friend opened her pack. It was a mirror case. Since we got the same thing, I did not bother opening. Much later when I did open it, one mirror came off in my hand!! Stop laughing, you guys!!! Don’t laugh at my misery! Stop it, NOW!!!
P.S: yet again: For all those who read this post because of the title, shame on you!!!
So here I am, aching for a pedicure and this new salon has been calling out to me. With my husband doing the babysitting, I darted off to this salon with my neighbor N (who happens to be rather new to the city). I told N that being a Pratyusha (my daughter’s school) mom entitles me to a discount. I was delirious with joy to discover that it was a 50% discount!! After the exchange of pleasantries, we settled down to business. There were two pedicure stations set up side by side. At the initial glance I knew something was amiss. But I guessed that they would work it out. I don’t really like to jump the gun and create a fuss. So patiently I waited as the procedure began. I could immediately make out that the two stations were distinctly different from the other. And so were the people attending to us.
I had a basin to soak my feet. By the time the lady filled the basin and went back to heat more water, it would already be cold. I was slowly boiling with anger. Then she began scrubbing. I had to tell her to stop, for fear that she was skinning me. It hurt that much. Then the cleaning under the nails felt almost as if she was trying to scoop out my nails. I had a clear understanding of what it must have felt like in a ‘concentration camp’! It just went on and on this like this. Then she gets up, tells me that her client has come ( duh, what was I??) and hands me over to another lady. This old and skinny lady looked like she would die as she massaged (and clawed) at my legs. I actually asked her to stop. Then she started clumping the nail polish on my nails. I just could not take it anymore, asked her to stop and told her that my 5-year old can apply nail paint better. Yes, I was pissed!
While I was being subjected to this obvious torture, I saw my friend relaxing at her station with a magazine in hand, totally enjoying herself. The seat she, had that bubbling hot water contraption, a holder to rest the leg for scrubbing. And the quality of the pedicure itself was so different and meticulous (the resident expert is talking!!!). She finished off by wiping her leg and feet with a wet hot towel and applied the nail paint with love. Witnessing this preferential treatment, was painful. I was contemplating on letting the owner know what I felt about her Salon.
As we footing the bill, without even checking, she applied a blanket discount too. So not only did my friend get the better end of the deal, she walked away with a discount too!!! Yes, my life sucks!! Hey, I have nothing against my friend getting the discount, but look at my rotten luck!!
The reason I am not really big into discounts is because I always end up regretting it. If it is a product/equipment, it won’t last. If it is a dress, u can bet your ass that it will tear/is already torn/ or won’t survive the first wash. Once recently, I had visited another new beauty salon for a pedicure (yeah, I like the works when it comes to pedicure and besides I don’t do it as often as I would like to. So I really have big expectations of this). The pedicure was awesome. The lady told me that I am entitled to a free facial. I declined the offer. The lady got slightly offended and told me that I should not consider it so-so, just because it is free. I still declined. No free stuff for me. Thanks. What is the point in having nice feet and scarred face. No thanks! I must have looked like a jack ass to her!!! I mean, who does not like freebies. But it just does not work for me. The moment I see the word ‘free’, I am sure there is something wrong with it!
My question to you is: Would you go back and give the owner of that Salon a dressing down? What would you say? I am contemplating between never going back and going back, letting her have it, and making it work for me.
P.S: Now you would say: Serves you right! Why don’t you find a nice salon and stick to it? Well, these places were much closer home. Since time is always a scarcity for me, a parlor near-by, is always better.
P.S again: When my friend and I were leaving the salon after that eventful pedicure, the lady handed us compliments. My friend opened her pack. It was a mirror case. Since we got the same thing, I did not bother opening. Much later when I did open it, one mirror came off in my hand!! Stop laughing, you guys!!! Don’t laugh at my misery! Stop it, NOW!!!
P.S: yet again: For all those who read this post because of the title, shame on you!!!
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Party Hearty
Yesterday, I attended a really lame birthday party. I thought I must blog about this and get it out of my system. My five-year old does not need me around. But I make it a point to attend a few parties with her. The rest she attends by herself. Now which ones do I attend with her? The ones where I have a bunch of friends coming to, or the ones where the hostess requires a bit of help or the ones where the house is filthy. The one I attended yesterday, fell into the last category. I cringe at having to sit in that house. The fact that balloons were put up, did not take away from the fact that the dining table on which the cake was cut was dusty, filthy and messed with things don’t require to be on the dining table. And the wash basin was a potential breeding place for a lot of diseases. As I am typing this post and recalling the way the house looked, I am shaking with disgust.
The hostess is a rather good friend of mine and I cannot, not send my kid, if you know what I mean. So I attend this do and keep an eye on my kid. Just to make sure she gets a clean plate and glass and that she washes her hands. Ok, so the stuff she gets to eat at the party is as thoughtless as the party itself. But I have learnt to let go. Now you ask, “What kind of good friend are you, when you cannot even tell your friend that she disgusts you in this way?” Well, on my part, I did try. Tried to tell her that some place that I visited was rather dirty and the kids are always sick because of it (By the way, her kids always have stomach ailments and cold/fever). What do you think her reaction was? Well, she was disgusted right along with me, and went on to extol the virtues of cleanliness! So much for trying.
You see, if it was just messy, I could deal with it. It is the filth that I cannot ignore. Then another time (one of the many times I have had these discussions with her) I put it across saying that no matter how sick I am feeling, I make it a point to try and clear up the mess at home. Well courtesy that, I have been labeled a cleanliness freak, somebody with border line OCD even! She tells me that I can fall really sick if I carry on this way!
Considering that the world has been in recession for a while, I have been thinking about all the frivolous and stupid things we do, that can be given a miss. One of the things that I felt strongly about was the return gifts (party favors) that are given at birthday parties. I don’t know which nut started this trend and why it has been carried on. I have not seen a more meaningless act of giving. The giver and the receiver know that the party favor idea and the gift selected out of sheer lack of thought is so lame, but nobody has the will to put an end to it. Have mercy people! Nobody (and when I say nobody, I mean nobody) can stand those crappy Chinese-made toys (Chinese people, don’t take offence. I totally love you guys) that don’t work or that die an untimely death after the first attempt at working. And what about those cheap lunch boxes made of cheap plastic. I mean, how many lunch boxes can a kid have?? And don’t even get me started on the pencil boxes ( Did I hear many sighs of disgust?). The pencils don’t write and cannot be sharpened because the plastic coating starts to peel and comes in the way of the sharpener doing an effective job(which by the way, it may do just once). The eraser will just spread the black of the lead across the page. And the ruler, can’t even reach the length of a small note book. Clearly it was made to fit into the miniature case that comes with it. These gifts look really good in my dustbin. What a waste of money. Donate to the poor, guys!
Then the other day, I went to a party. I might have to go back there and retrieve my jaws from their lawn. The frivolousness of the whole do was amazing. They had done up the lawns in pink and white. There were tables and chairs that were draped across the back with huge pink bows. Frilly centre pieces with Disney characters (the princess variety). Huge cutouts. Crazy number of balloons in pink and white and a crazy number of helium balloons with the kids name printed on it. There were a lot of crowns and wands being handed out. In addition to all this, there was a tattoo artist, a juggler guy, and one of those huge, deflate able, jumping things. The party favor was a frivolous as frivolous can be. There was a photographer clicking away. I thought to myself that they must have some underground storage space where they can afford to store the hundreds of pictures the guys was clicking! Then I found out. As we left, the hostess handed me a picture of my daughter, framed and handed to me in a pink, frilly bag with Disney characters! That was truly the icing on the cake! The kid was just five years old. Can you imagine what they have to do to outdo this party?? Imagine the impression it made on the minds of the other kids! What a waste of money! Donate to the poor, guys!
In a bid to save a lot of people from wasting their time and money, I have decided to stop giving party favors and will try and spread the good word too. Yes, I risk it all at the cost of being labeled poor. So be it! If I succeed, there might be a time when parents will narrate stories to their kids like this: Once upon a time, long, long ago when there were party favors…..
Yeah, I know, we might put a lot of Chinese people out of work. Let them learn English and join call centers.
Please tell me about some of the lousy party favors your kids have received.
The hostess is a rather good friend of mine and I cannot, not send my kid, if you know what I mean. So I attend this do and keep an eye on my kid. Just to make sure she gets a clean plate and glass and that she washes her hands. Ok, so the stuff she gets to eat at the party is as thoughtless as the party itself. But I have learnt to let go. Now you ask, “What kind of good friend are you, when you cannot even tell your friend that she disgusts you in this way?” Well, on my part, I did try. Tried to tell her that some place that I visited was rather dirty and the kids are always sick because of it (By the way, her kids always have stomach ailments and cold/fever). What do you think her reaction was? Well, she was disgusted right along with me, and went on to extol the virtues of cleanliness! So much for trying.
You see, if it was just messy, I could deal with it. It is the filth that I cannot ignore. Then another time (one of the many times I have had these discussions with her) I put it across saying that no matter how sick I am feeling, I make it a point to try and clear up the mess at home. Well courtesy that, I have been labeled a cleanliness freak, somebody with border line OCD even! She tells me that I can fall really sick if I carry on this way!
Considering that the world has been in recession for a while, I have been thinking about all the frivolous and stupid things we do, that can be given a miss. One of the things that I felt strongly about was the return gifts (party favors) that are given at birthday parties. I don’t know which nut started this trend and why it has been carried on. I have not seen a more meaningless act of giving. The giver and the receiver know that the party favor idea and the gift selected out of sheer lack of thought is so lame, but nobody has the will to put an end to it. Have mercy people! Nobody (and when I say nobody, I mean nobody) can stand those crappy Chinese-made toys (Chinese people, don’t take offence. I totally love you guys) that don’t work or that die an untimely death after the first attempt at working. And what about those cheap lunch boxes made of cheap plastic. I mean, how many lunch boxes can a kid have?? And don’t even get me started on the pencil boxes ( Did I hear many sighs of disgust?). The pencils don’t write and cannot be sharpened because the plastic coating starts to peel and comes in the way of the sharpener doing an effective job(which by the way, it may do just once). The eraser will just spread the black of the lead across the page. And the ruler, can’t even reach the length of a small note book. Clearly it was made to fit into the miniature case that comes with it. These gifts look really good in my dustbin. What a waste of money. Donate to the poor, guys!
Then the other day, I went to a party. I might have to go back there and retrieve my jaws from their lawn. The frivolousness of the whole do was amazing. They had done up the lawns in pink and white. There were tables and chairs that were draped across the back with huge pink bows. Frilly centre pieces with Disney characters (the princess variety). Huge cutouts. Crazy number of balloons in pink and white and a crazy number of helium balloons with the kids name printed on it. There were a lot of crowns and wands being handed out. In addition to all this, there was a tattoo artist, a juggler guy, and one of those huge, deflate able, jumping things. The party favor was a frivolous as frivolous can be. There was a photographer clicking away. I thought to myself that they must have some underground storage space where they can afford to store the hundreds of pictures the guys was clicking! Then I found out. As we left, the hostess handed me a picture of my daughter, framed and handed to me in a pink, frilly bag with Disney characters! That was truly the icing on the cake! The kid was just five years old. Can you imagine what they have to do to outdo this party?? Imagine the impression it made on the minds of the other kids! What a waste of money! Donate to the poor, guys!
In a bid to save a lot of people from wasting their time and money, I have decided to stop giving party favors and will try and spread the good word too. Yes, I risk it all at the cost of being labeled poor. So be it! If I succeed, there might be a time when parents will narrate stories to their kids like this: Once upon a time, long, long ago when there were party favors…..
Yeah, I know, we might put a lot of Chinese people out of work. Let them learn English and join call centers.
Please tell me about some of the lousy party favors your kids have received.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Laughing all the way!
I normally don't like cut and paste articles in blogs. But I just could not help this one. I am not in any position to verify the authenticity of the claim below (in italics), but it was simply hilarious. My favorite is the 16th one! I just can't get over it. The more I think about it, the more I laugh. There I started again! Enjoy it.
The
Here are this year's winners:
1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.
8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
9. Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.
12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
14.Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.
And the pick of the literature:
16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's stupid AND an asshole
New Vocabulary:
1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a tilt.
8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Presbyterianism (Frisbeetarianism ??)(n.), : The belief that, when you die, your
Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men
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