Yesterday, I attended a really lame birthday party. I thought I must blog about this and get it out of my system. My five-year old does not need me around. But I make it a point to attend a few parties with her. The rest she attends by herself. Now which ones do I attend with her? The ones where I have a bunch of friends coming to, or the ones where the hostess requires a bit of help or the ones where the house is filthy. The one I attended yesterday, fell into the last category. I cringe at having to sit in that house. The fact that balloons were put up, did not take away from the fact that the dining table on which the cake was cut was dusty, filthy and messed with things don’t require to be on the dining table. And the wash basin was a potential breeding place for a lot of diseases. As I am typing this post and recalling the way the house looked, I am shaking with disgust.
The hostess is a rather good friend of mine and I cannot, not send my kid, if you know what I mean. So I attend this do and keep an eye on my kid. Just to make sure she gets a clean plate and glass and that she washes her hands. Ok, so the stuff she gets to eat at the party is as thoughtless as the party itself. But I have learnt to let go. Now you ask, “What kind of good friend are you, when you cannot even tell your friend that she disgusts you in this way?” Well, on my part, I did try. Tried to tell her that some place that I visited was rather dirty and the kids are always sick because of it (By the way, her kids always have stomach ailments and cold/fever). What do you think her reaction was? Well, she was disgusted right along with me, and went on to extol the virtues of cleanliness! So much for trying.
You see, if it was just messy, I could deal with it. It is the filth that I cannot ignore. Then another time (one of the many times I have had these discussions with her) I put it across saying that no matter how sick I am feeling, I make it a point to try and clear up the mess at home. Well courtesy that, I have been labeled a cleanliness freak, somebody with border line OCD even! She tells me that I can fall really sick if I carry on this way!
Considering that the world has been in recession for a while, I have been thinking about all the frivolous and stupid things we do, that can be given a miss. One of the things that I felt strongly about was the return gifts (party favors) that are given at birthday parties. I don’t know which nut started this trend and why it has been carried on. I have not seen a more meaningless act of giving. The giver and the receiver know that the party favor idea and the gift selected out of sheer lack of thought is so lame, but nobody has the will to put an end to it. Have mercy people! Nobody (and when I say nobody, I mean nobody) can stand those crappy Chinese-made toys (Chinese people, don’t take offence. I totally love you guys) that don’t work or that die an untimely death after the first attempt at working. And what about those cheap lunch boxes made of cheap plastic. I mean, how many lunch boxes can a kid have?? And don’t even get me started on the pencil boxes ( Did I hear many sighs of disgust?). The pencils don’t write and cannot be sharpened because the plastic coating starts to peel and comes in the way of the sharpener doing an effective job(which by the way, it may do just once). The eraser will just spread the black of the lead across the page. And the ruler, can’t even reach the length of a small note book. Clearly it was made to fit into the miniature case that comes with it. These gifts look really good in my dustbin. What a waste of money. Donate to the poor, guys!
Then the other day, I went to a party. I might have to go back there and retrieve my jaws from their lawn. The frivolousness of the whole do was amazing. They had done up the lawns in pink and white. There were tables and chairs that were draped across the back with huge pink bows. Frilly centre pieces with Disney characters (the princess variety). Huge cutouts. Crazy number of balloons in pink and white and a crazy number of helium balloons with the kids name printed on it. There were a lot of crowns and wands being handed out. In addition to all this, there was a tattoo artist, a juggler guy, and one of those huge, deflate able, jumping things. The party favor was a frivolous as frivolous can be. There was a photographer clicking away. I thought to myself that they must have some underground storage space where they can afford to store the hundreds of pictures the guys was clicking! Then I found out. As we left, the hostess handed me a picture of my daughter, framed and handed to me in a pink, frilly bag with Disney characters! That was truly the icing on the cake! The kid was just five years old. Can you imagine what they have to do to outdo this party?? Imagine the impression it made on the minds of the other kids! What a waste of money! Donate to the poor, guys!
In a bid to save a lot of people from wasting their time and money, I have decided to stop giving party favors and will try and spread the good word too. Yes, I risk it all at the cost of being labeled poor. So be it! If I succeed, there might be a time when parents will narrate stories to their kids like this: Once upon a time, long, long ago when there were party favors…..
Yeah, I know, we might put a lot of Chinese people out of work. Let them learn English and join call centers.
Please tell me about some of the lousy party favors your kids have received.
The hostess is a rather good friend of mine and I cannot, not send my kid, if you know what I mean. So I attend this do and keep an eye on my kid. Just to make sure she gets a clean plate and glass and that she washes her hands. Ok, so the stuff she gets to eat at the party is as thoughtless as the party itself. But I have learnt to let go. Now you ask, “What kind of good friend are you, when you cannot even tell your friend that she disgusts you in this way?” Well, on my part, I did try. Tried to tell her that some place that I visited was rather dirty and the kids are always sick because of it (By the way, her kids always have stomach ailments and cold/fever). What do you think her reaction was? Well, she was disgusted right along with me, and went on to extol the virtues of cleanliness! So much for trying.
You see, if it was just messy, I could deal with it. It is the filth that I cannot ignore. Then another time (one of the many times I have had these discussions with her) I put it across saying that no matter how sick I am feeling, I make it a point to try and clear up the mess at home. Well courtesy that, I have been labeled a cleanliness freak, somebody with border line OCD even! She tells me that I can fall really sick if I carry on this way!
Considering that the world has been in recession for a while, I have been thinking about all the frivolous and stupid things we do, that can be given a miss. One of the things that I felt strongly about was the return gifts (party favors) that are given at birthday parties. I don’t know which nut started this trend and why it has been carried on. I have not seen a more meaningless act of giving. The giver and the receiver know that the party favor idea and the gift selected out of sheer lack of thought is so lame, but nobody has the will to put an end to it. Have mercy people! Nobody (and when I say nobody, I mean nobody) can stand those crappy Chinese-made toys (Chinese people, don’t take offence. I totally love you guys) that don’t work or that die an untimely death after the first attempt at working. And what about those cheap lunch boxes made of cheap plastic. I mean, how many lunch boxes can a kid have?? And don’t even get me started on the pencil boxes ( Did I hear many sighs of disgust?). The pencils don’t write and cannot be sharpened because the plastic coating starts to peel and comes in the way of the sharpener doing an effective job(which by the way, it may do just once). The eraser will just spread the black of the lead across the page. And the ruler, can’t even reach the length of a small note book. Clearly it was made to fit into the miniature case that comes with it. These gifts look really good in my dustbin. What a waste of money. Donate to the poor, guys!
Then the other day, I went to a party. I might have to go back there and retrieve my jaws from their lawn. The frivolousness of the whole do was amazing. They had done up the lawns in pink and white. There were tables and chairs that were draped across the back with huge pink bows. Frilly centre pieces with Disney characters (the princess variety). Huge cutouts. Crazy number of balloons in pink and white and a crazy number of helium balloons with the kids name printed on it. There were a lot of crowns and wands being handed out. In addition to all this, there was a tattoo artist, a juggler guy, and one of those huge, deflate able, jumping things. The party favor was a frivolous as frivolous can be. There was a photographer clicking away. I thought to myself that they must have some underground storage space where they can afford to store the hundreds of pictures the guys was clicking! Then I found out. As we left, the hostess handed me a picture of my daughter, framed and handed to me in a pink, frilly bag with Disney characters! That was truly the icing on the cake! The kid was just five years old. Can you imagine what they have to do to outdo this party?? Imagine the impression it made on the minds of the other kids! What a waste of money! Donate to the poor, guys!
In a bid to save a lot of people from wasting their time and money, I have decided to stop giving party favors and will try and spread the good word too. Yes, I risk it all at the cost of being labeled poor. So be it! If I succeed, there might be a time when parents will narrate stories to their kids like this: Once upon a time, long, long ago when there were party favors…..
Yeah, I know, we might put a lot of Chinese people out of work. Let them learn English and join call centers.
Please tell me about some of the lousy party favors your kids have received.
10 comments:
Well! A very thought provoking post! Wil b bk to comment!
What a hilarious post and I thoroughly agree. But will your daughter see this point of view? I suggest go with the party favours till she's about 8 or 10, or old enough to understand - where you can maybe take her to an orphanage and get HER to suggest scrapping the party favours idea. It is a very sensible thing to do but often the one thing that seems sensible in our eyes is largely distorted in theirs. It's the age of misunderstanding.
I had a great laugh by the way.
Well, here I am commenting for the first time here :) I agree that most parties these days are total waste of money. We do get carried away a lot, but try our best not to.
Here are somethings which we do for return gifts:
*small gift cards
*one age appropriate gift/child(this year we gave 8 year olds a tye die kit and younger ones a set to make their own door tag). After few days couple of children showed us the shirts they had dyed and we saw the door tag that another child had made!
*one year we gave children an activity book for their age.
I guess we can go several ways to make something valuable.
hahahahaha - at the first episode !!!! I truly agree with you...abt the way the house shld be clean - and certainly a big no to filthyness !!!!
While my daughters are teenagers, I dont like them to attend parties of five year olds...Come on, the mothers can be gud frnds...that doesnt mean that my daughters are OK to attend this party !!! I am happy if we are not invited. I would love to go to a party, in which I can feel the warmth of the hostess in our presence. We have made a difference by being there - thats the response I want.
In so many parties, they invite my daughters to baby sit the toddlers - Once I got to know this trend, I put a big full stop.
And parties shld be time of enjoyment for both the bday child and the ppl who attend it. The show of money can never bring the satisfaction of attending a gud party.
Gud of you, to point out two different kinds of party !!!
And I recognise this theme. This is gud. I like it.
"Imagine the impression it made on the minds of the other kids! What a waste of money! Donate to the poor, guys!"
What if they are also donating to the poor and still being able to throw such lavish parties? I don't think everything should be about world peace and donation. People donate and still spend lavishly for parties and vacations.
I think kids should grow up knowing the limits of what their family has. The differences are always evident one way or the other. I believe it is better when everyone can co-exist within all our differences.
As for the first filth part, it is really sad and as you say, it is not easy to tell someone that their house is a mess.
@Swaram: Please come back with suitable ideas.
@Shades of Grey: It is really easy for me to get through to Neha. She is more interested in having fun. You know what? After getting back from that party (the fairy princess one), she never told me once that she wants a party like that!
@Lakshmi: Welcome to my blog. It is not the whole idea that I am against, It is the thoughtlessness.Why give for the sake of giving? Just do away with the damn thing altogether. Why be under pressure? BTW, your ideas were good.
@Uma: That lady needs a real kick on her backside. How lazy can u be?
@Solilo: I get what you are saying. But the people I am talking about are the kinds who wud cry before parting with garbage! :D I am never for keeping up with the Jones'. I tell Neha that we cannot do what others do. By now she has it down very clearly.
That was a very interesting post and couldnt agree with you more. I first of all dont even understand why a kids first bday party is always such a big deal. The kid hardly understands whats going on and its now turned out to be more of a prestige issue. I know ppl who throw lavish bday parties..like the princess ones u mentioned and with major themes etc. Like one of it, for a 6 yr old , was 'Dhoom,' yeah the hindi movie. Small girls came dressed in skimpy clothes and the boys, all rugged and macho. Takes the whole innocence out of them. My sis in law had no clue what the hell dhoom was and neither did my nephew which made thm watch the movie 2 figure out what it was because he wouldnt let his mom do what she liked. And return gifts..were dvd's of the movie. Now was that a huge waste of money and even worse imparting the wrong ideas into children's heads?
I get exactly what you're saying. Although I must admit my kids are party animals and get invited everywhere. I've come to the point where a mother has to choose to be Hitler or the fairy god-mother. I chose to be Hitler! Now the girls go only to parties I approve of.
As for party favors and thank you gifts...these are totally unnecessary. Didn't I just give you a great party and feed you? But I have been guilty of doing the same.
Where are the times of simplicity and just having a good time....our kids need to learn that first!
Had a good laugh esp the details of the 2nd party...I mean it just sounded as elaborate as arrangements made for a wedding reception;-D
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