The week that was..

Well, I just thought I would quickly put up a post in case the questions start pouring in. I am packed and headed to Vizag. We have a new addition to the family. A baby girl. She has the chubbiest cheeks! So here we are are, heading off to see her and her elated parents. Too bad it is just for a day and half.

Yes, Neha did get her Silver medal.

It is beginning to get rather cold. My daughter and I are on medication to tackle the nagging cold and cough that we have managed to contract from some place. If I though traveling was a bad deal, I always get to travel with a cold/allergy. For some crazy reason, just before I travel I fall sick. Just as I get a headache immediately after I have purchased tickets to a movie!

My yoga classes that were a boon to me has been canceled for this month. And just as quickly as it could, the pain in the neck is back. If I am under stress, the neck begins to hurt like crazy! My husband and his crazy working hours are back to haunt me. He leaves at 7:30 in the morning to get back only at 2:30 am. Yes, the next day. As many as hours as it is! I am just scrambling into bed and then up early again to make sure he has breakfast and pack lunch too. The crazy hours are getting to me. Of course, since he moved to a new department that caters to the Middle East, we don't have the normal Saturday and Sunday for weekends. So where does that leave me? Yes, I am on my way to loonyville! And to make things worse, the husband has been handed a Blackberry. He is annoying me with it. So if I thought he was really not there at home, every waking moment is being hogged by the Blackberry (nuisance!).

We have to leave in a little while and I am just hoping that we don't have to chase the bus that takes us. Wish me luck!

On a good note, the mood of the festive season is already settling in and I am so looking forward to the joy that Christmas brings! I just cannot believe that a whole year has gone by.

So, till I get back, you guys have a great time and don't miss me too much!! :D

P.s: Reflections- If you were expecting another post, I am sorta kinda done with that tag. I promise to put it up when I get back. :D

The Competitive Spirit

My daughter had her first State Level Taekwondo tournament yesterday. She was one of the 12 students selected from a batch of 40. She was to report at 8:30 am. I woke up in the morning, feeling not so sure that I wanted her to do this. I went across to tell her trainer that she might be opting out. When I saw that a few of them were as young as her, I changed my mind, quickly paid up, got home, and got to the venue. I decided to hang around just in case she wanted to use the toilet etc. When I got there I realised that many of the kids from the complex were unaccompanied by their parents. I mean, what the hell could be more important than your kid. For crying out loud, it was a Sunday!!!!!!!!!!

Some of them turned a few hours later with hurriedly applied make up, as though somebody was shooting a movie on them. I think the worst thing that can happen to a kid is to feel unappreciated and unmotivated. There was no one to cheer the kids. Can you believe that I had to do it alone? I was on the cheering squad, then I am running around to give the kids a sip of water, then uplift their spirits by telling them that they are doing well. The opposition came out in large numbers and there was so much cheering for them. I really felt awful. I could see their spirits waning. I mean they were being kicked around badly. I had to hit the guy in front of me couple of times, almost yelling at him to cheer for the kids! I don’t think he will stand near me again. So what if the kid is not yours, can you not cheer for them?? Yeah, so what if his parents are at home busy stuffing their faces with dosa or whatever!

My daughter went on. She was faced with a total stranger. A bigger kid at that. She started off on a good note. But got kicked around, fell down and of all the things, began to cry!!! Poor thing! She refused to carry on. I told her that it was part of the deal and that she should have fought back. She thought she was going to be beaten up. Basically, she was not prepared. What demoralized her was that so much cheering was happening for the opponent, that she thought she already lost. I plan on doing something about that next time.

There was this other girl. I was not too sure what her parents were prepared for when the signed her up for taekwondo class. She is interested more in dance and is rather shy. You know the type. She was called for her round. Her opponent started kicking and this girl did nothing. The mother of the girl started protesting, “How can they do this?” Me being me, I held her back and told her, “You did not sign her up for ballet. This is how it is.” I could see from her expression that it did not go down well with her! Oooops!

Anyways, I am miffed with parents who cannot even come and encourage the kids when they appear for competitions. What kind of people are these? I end up at these events not just having my kid to take care of, but many others kids’ too. It is not fair on the kids. When they are appearing for sports like these, where minor injuries might occur, Parents should be around. If not for anything, it might just motivate the child to do better. It must have felt scary to them being in a strange place with so many new people. To make it all worse, the challenge of a competitions and opponents that looked like they were thirsty for blood! They really did look well prepared and came in a platoon!

So now, I am prepared to don the mantle of motivating the kids of the Taekwondo class, including my little girl, on how to face an opponent. Of course, I am going to do it in conjunction with the Master. Wish me luck. The kids of my complex will go better prepared next time. The next time round, they will be the once thirsty for blood!

Psssstttt…… I think my daughter got a silver medal!

Yipppeee!! Wooo Hooooooo!!!!

I am on such an emotional high, so I thought I will blog about it before it loses steam and of course the magic of the moment. For the first time, I organized an event. I stay in a building complex of about 300 flats. We have a very cosmopolitan, multi-lingual and vibrant crowd of people staying here. Not to mention, extremely talented people from all walks of life. Today, November 14th being Children’s Day, I was asked to co-ordinate and conduct the Children’s Day program.

I was terribly nervous because I was given only a day and half’s notice for putting things together. And me being me, I cannot rest easy organizing a poor show, but with so little time at hand, I was sure that it will turn out pathetic. I told myself to stop cribbing and had a go at it. I quickly put together a short quiz, decided on two games that can be pulled off with a large number of kids. The easiest to get away with is Musical Chairs but as we were about to announce it, I realized that the chairs were not available. So I quickly tweaked it to Four Corners! The kids enjoyed themselves thoroughly. I asked a friend of mine to emcee the event for me. When she dropped by my place this afternoon, she was still not too sure that it was a good idea. I had to really coax her, and now, she is grinning from ear to ear and has thanked me profusely for pushing her into it!!! :D

It was a runaway hit, guys!! It shaped up so well. My friend did a fabulous job with the emceeing. In the beginning, I was so disappointed that I did not even bother to dress up well. I just wanted to get the whole thing over with. Anyway, I had to just run around so I thought I was dressed just fine. And I did do a lot of running back and forth.

We had a celebrity for the Chief Guest, too. He has just sung a fabulous super hit song for a Tollywood (our local Hollywood!) movie. He sung and entertained the kids (and the bigger kids like me, too) and gave away prizes. All in all, it turned out to be a great event. The kids enjoyed themselves, danced and participated in huge numbers (and I was worried about a poor turnout). It was all very overwhelming. The compliments and praises have been pouring in. So many people, so many compliments, it felt really good. I missed my dear friends Uma (and her two beautiful girls) and Vaishali!! They would have been the happiest for me.

I am going to be grinning in my sleep.

For the past few days, my daughter has been struggling with a very complicated problem. She says that she has many friends and she was wondering which one of them she should marry. Today, she was totally in awe of Anuj (the Chief Guest). On the way back, she declared that she was going to marry him!!! :D My husband told her that he is already married. To which she had a response that has left us poor-witted parents wide-eyed !!!! The kids of today have it all sorted out!

Edited to add:

When we told Neha that the guys was already married, we (at least I) quite expected her to say: " That's OK! We can all be married!"

But her response was rather well thought out and came in a jiffy. She said:"Oh! When they grow old, sometimes the lady might die before he does. Then I will marry him!"

Can you beat that??!!!

You can imagine the shock on our faces!!

All in a days work!

Ok, you guys, I am going to blow my own trumpet a bit now. But let me tell you now itself that what I am about to say has a good moral to it!

I received an awesome compliment a few days back. A lady (she is more an acquaintance than a friend). I see her around, as brings her daughter to the sand pit. I am almost a fixture on that sand pit. I am there EVERYDAY! Not to keep an eye on my daughter, but to protect the other kids from her! (Yeah, she gets weird ideas and manages to convince all the other kids that it is the way to go). Anyways, I did chat with this lady a couple of times. I have this way of getting through to people and making them feel like chatting. You will be amazed at the insights I receive on their life at the first meeting! :-D

Back to the lady. She walks up to me as I was chatting with another friend and she says: “Whenever I see Butterfly (I feel really weird addressing myself this way, but please bear with me!), I feel a lot of energy. She has that kind of effect on people.”

Butterfly’s all embarrassed and totally unprepared to receive compliments. If she had told this to me when I was alone, I would have said : Thank you. But there was this other lady around, and I am at a loss for words.

Lady (am so totally unable to recall her name) goes on without realizing that I am embarrassed: “Butterfly, you told me something amazing. It has brought such a change in my attitude. It is very visible to those around me and I have been receiving compliments for the same. I am really happy that I listened to you!”

At this point, I have started turning beet (If that is possible!) obviously nervous at what I might have told her.

Lady: “Butterfly told me that amongst all that I do, I must learn to live for myself too. And from that day on, I have lived a little for myself too. It has changed my outlook completely. I am happier now. I am so thankful to you, Butterfly!”

I guess the lady must have ranted about how there is no time to do anything with caring for her two kids and husband. And I must have given her this advice. I believe in it. I feel that if we do not live for ourselves too, everything else we do will seem like a mundane chore. I tell people that we should do the best in what we were called to do. If it is cooking for your family, do it the best way you can. And at some point in the day, take a little time out for yourself. To maybe just read a book. Whatever. But you must do it.

Also, my everyday life is spent towards making the world around me a better place. In my own little ways. I almost go at it like I am being paid a hefty salary for it! I am focused on improving the quality of my life and those around me. Yes, I do have my moments too, when I feel defeated and depressed. But not for long. My irrepressible spirit fights back and I spring back, happy as ever!

You will often find me carting my friends back and forth on chores. When I head out, I check with people if they have anything to accomplish on that route. I usually have other people’s tiny grocery lists too, as I head to the grocery store. At any given point in time, I baby sit at least 4 kids. There are kids buzzing around me all the time. Though their respective mothers are around, they seem to want to share their stories with me. Half the time I tearing my hair out with all their chatter. Non-stop chatter. I shoo them away and in a minute, they are back. I give up! Many people are often confused as to how many kids I actually have.

My friends refer to me as their ‘F1’ key. Incase people around me have any queries (and you will be surprised at the queries) they check in with me. I am the unofficial : real estate agent, baby sitter, Taxi operator, psychologist, communicator, cookery consultant (and most often, cook too), party organizer (in addition to this, I have to come up with a suitable gifting idea too. And yes, I also buy the gift!), event organizer, motivator, care taker of homes/plants/pets when people take vacation, custodian of keys (I have at least 8 sets of duplicate keys belonging to my friends’ apartments), medical consultant and above all, a friend, to all my friends. While I am at it, I make sure that my home, husband and kid don’t suffer the brunt of my social activities.

One any given day, I am flitting from one cause to the other. My friends know that they can never get a half-baked job out of me. My close friends often laugh at me. They tell me that people are using me. What I tell them is that I am there for people if they need me. I can’t say ‘no’ if people need my help. Most days, I am overwhelmed. And most times, I do not know whether I am going or coming.

I am currently working real hard on a friend who is stuck in a rut. She is unsatisfied with a lot of things in her life and I am helping her appreciate what she has. I am happy to say that she has improved leaps and bounds and seems much happier these days. She is keeping me posted on the improvements and how it is changing her perspective.

I am not professionally qualified in any of the areas I mentioned above, but people rely on me. Because, I give of myself. I am focused on touching people’s lives and what I get out of it is intangible. And that my friends, is the moral of the story. Giving of yourself. There is tremendous happiness in that. If I can motivate more people to do the same, I know that I am successful in my endeavor. That of helping to make this world a better place! It’s worth the try, that’s for sure!

I try and be the change I want to see!

Playing Footsie

When I went for my daughter's last PTA, along with the progress report, we were given a discount coupon from a recently opened Beauty Salon. The salon was run by the parents’ of my daughter’s classmate. Being more interested in the matter at hand, I just shoved the coupon into my purse. I am not much into these salons. I have a lady who comes home and takes care of my basic beauty requirements (how cool is that!!!). It is only for pedicures that I venture out of my comfort zone. I can be considered the resident expert on pedicures offered by the salons in my area.

So here I am, aching for a pedicure and this new salon has been calling out to me. With my husband doing the babysitting, I darted off to this salon with my neighbor N (who happens to be rather new to the city). I told N that being a Pratyusha (my daughter’s school) mom entitles me to a discount. I was delirious with joy to discover that it was a 50% discount!! After the exchange of pleasantries, we settled down to business. There were two pedicure stations set up side by side. At the initial glance I knew something was amiss. But I guessed that they would work it out. I don’t really like to jump the gun and create a fuss. So patiently I waited as the procedure began. I could immediately make out that the two stations were distinctly different from the other. And so were the people attending to us.

I had a basin to soak my feet. By the time the lady filled the basin and went back to heat more water, it would already be cold. I was slowly boiling with anger. Then she began scrubbing. I had to tell her to stop, for fear that she was skinning me. It hurt that much. Then the cleaning under the nails felt almost as if she was trying to scoop out my nails. I had a clear understanding of what it must have felt like in a ‘concentration camp’! It just went on and on this like this. Then she gets up, tells me that her client has come ( duh, what was I??) and hands me over to another lady. This old and skinny lady looked like she would die as she massaged (and clawed) at my legs. I actually asked her to stop. Then she started clumping the nail polish on my nails. I just could not take it anymore, asked her to stop and told her that my 5-year old can apply nail paint better. Yes, I was pissed!

While I was being subjected to this obvious torture, I saw my friend relaxing at her station with a magazine in hand, totally enjoying herself. The seat she, had that bubbling hot water contraption, a holder to rest the leg for scrubbing. And the quality of the pedicure itself was so different and meticulous (the resident expert is talking!!!). She finished off by wiping her leg and feet with a wet hot towel and applied the nail paint with love. Witnessing this preferential treatment, was painful. I was contemplating on letting the owner know what I felt about her Salon.

As we footing the bill, without even checking, she applied a blanket discount too. So not only did my friend get the better end of the deal, she walked away with a discount too!!! Yes, my life sucks!! Hey, I have nothing against my friend getting the discount, but look at my rotten luck!!

The reason I am not really big into discounts is because I always end up regretting it. If it is a product/equipment, it won’t last. If it is a dress, u can bet your ass that it will tear/is already torn/ or won’t survive the first wash. Once recently, I had visited another new beauty salon for a pedicure (yeah, I like the works when it comes to pedicure and besides I don’t do it as often as I would like to. So I really have big expectations of this). The pedicure was awesome. The lady told me that I am entitled to a free facial. I declined the offer. The lady got slightly offended and told me that I should not consider it so-so, just because it is free. I still declined. No free stuff for me. Thanks. What is the point in having nice feet and scarred face. No thanks! I must have looked like a jack ass to her!!! I mean, who does not like freebies. But it just does not work for me. The moment I see the word ‘free’, I am sure there is something wrong with it!

My question to you is: Would you go back and give the owner of that Salon a dressing down? What would you say? I am contemplating between never going back and going back, letting her have it, and making it work for me.

P.S: Now you would say: Serves you right! Why don’t you find a nice salon and stick to it? Well, these places were much closer home. Since time is always a scarcity for me, a parlor near-by, is always better.

P.S again: When my friend and I were leaving the salon after that eventful pedicure, the lady handed us compliments. My friend opened her pack. It was a mirror case. Since we got the same thing, I did not bother opening. Much later when I did open it, one mirror came off in my hand!! Stop laughing, you guys!!! Don’t laugh at my misery! Stop it, NOW!!!

P.S: yet again: For all those who read this post because of the title, shame on you!!!

Why don't Indians give back to society?

This author has echoed a lot of thoughts that I have been wrestling with for a long time now. Please do read till the end and very carefully with an open mind. The question asked in the beginning had the hit-me-in-the-face kind of effect when I read all the way till the end and read the answer!

DO YOU FULLY AGREE WITH THIS AUTHOR?

Why Indians don’t give back to society

By Aakar Patel, Mint, July 4, 2009

Some characteristics unite Indians.
The most visible is our opportunism

Why don’t we worship Brahma? We know he’s part of the Hindu trinity as the creator, but we worship Vishnu, manager of the cosmos, and Shiva, its eventual destroyer. The answer lies not in religion, but in culture. But in what way does our religion shape our culture?

Weber explained the success of capitalism in the US, Germany and Britain as coming from their populations’ Protestant faith. This ethic, or culture, was missing from the Catholic populations of South America, Italy and Spain. Protestants, Weber said, extended Christianity’s message of doing good deeds, to doing work well. Industry and enterprise had an ultimate motive: public good. That explains the philanthropists of the US, from John D. Rockefeller to Andrew Carnegie to Bill Gates.

What explains the behaviour of Indians? What explains the anarchy of our cities? To find out, we must ask how our behaviour is different.

Some characteristics unite Indians. The most visible is our opportunism. One good way to judge a society is to see it in motion. On the road, we observe the opportunism in the behaviour of the Indian driver. Where traffic halts on one side of the road in India, motorists will encroach the oncoming side because there is space available there. If that leads to both sides being blocked, that is fine, as long as we maintain our advantage over people behind us or next to us. This is because the other man cannot be trusted to stay in his place.

The Indian’s instinct is to jump the traffic light if he is convinced that the signal is not policed. If he gets flagged down by the police, his instinct is to bolt. In an accident, his instinct is to flee. Fatal motoring cases in India are a grim record of how the driver ran over people and drove away.

We show the pattern of what is called a Hobbesian society: one in which there is low trust between people. This instinct of me-versus-the- world leads to irrational behaviour, demonstrated when Indians board flights. We form a mob at the entrance, and as the flight is announced, scramble for the plane even though all tickets are numbered. Airlines modify their boarding announcements for Indians taking international flights.

Our opportunism necessarily means that we do not understand collective good. Indians will litter if they are not policed. Someone else will always pick up the rubbish we throw. Thailand’s toilets are used by as many people as India’s toilets are, but they are likely to be not just clean but spotless. This is because that’s how the users leave them, not the cleaners.

The Indian’s reluctance to embrace collective good hurts his state. A study of income-tax compliance between 1965 and 1993 in India (Elsevier Science/Das- Gupta, Lahiri and Mookherjee) concluded that “declining assessment intensity had a significant negative effect” on compliance, while “traditional enforcement tools (searches, penalties and prosecution activity) had only a limited effect” on Indians. The authors puzzled over the fact that “India’s income tax performance (was) below the average of countries with similar GDP per capita”.

We do not think stealing from the state is a bad thing, and our ambiguity extends to corruption, which also we do not view in absolute terms. Political parties in India understand this and corruption is not an issue in Indian politics. Politicians who are demonstrably corrupt, recorded on camera taking a bribe or saying appalling things, or convicted by a court, can hold legitimate hope of a comeback—unthinkable in the West.
The opportunist is necessarily good at adapting, and that explains the success of Indians abroad. We can follow someone else’s rules well, even if we can’t enforce them at home ourselves. The Indian in the US is peerless at the Spelling Bee because the formula of committing things to memory, which in India passes for knowledge, comes naturally to him. But this talent for adapting and memorizing is not the same as a talent for creation.

The question is: Why are we opportunists?

In his great work Crowds and Power, Elias Canetti observed that the rewards religions promised their faithful were all far off, in the afterlife. This is because a short goal would demand demonstration from god and create skeptics instead of believers. There is an exception to this in Hinduism. Hinduism is not about the other world. There is no afterlife in Hinduism and rebirth is always on earth. The goal is to be released entirely and our death rites and beliefs -- funeral in Kashi -- seek freedom from rebirth.

Christianity and Islam are about how to enter heaven; Hinduism is about how not to return to earth, because it’s a rotten place. Naipaul opens his finest novel with the words “The world is what it is”, and Wittgenstein ( “The world is all that is the case”) opens his Tractatus similarly.

Hinduism recognizes that the world is irredeemable: It is what it is. Perhaps this is where the Hindu gets his world view -- which is zero-sum -- from. We might say that he takes the pessimistic view of society and of his fellow man. But why?

The Hindu devotee’s relationship with god is transactional: I give you this, you give me that. God must be petitioned and placated to swing the universe’s blessings towards you. God gives you something not through the miracle, and this is what makes Hinduism different, but by swinging that something away from someone else. This is the primary lesson of the Vedic fire sacrifice. There is no benefit to one without loss to another. Religion is about bending god’s influence towards you through pleas, and appeasement, through offerings.

Society has no role in your advancement and there is no reason to give back to it (in any way, including leaving the toilets clean behind you) because it hasn’t given you anything in the first place. That is why Indian industrialists are not philanthropists. Rockefeller always gave a tenth of his earnings to the Church, and then donated hundreds of millions, fighting hookworm and educating black women. Bill Gates gave $25 billion (around Rs1.2 trillion), and his cause is fighting malaria, which does not even affect Americans. Warren Buffett gave away $30 billion, almost his entire fortune. Andrew Carnegie built 2,500 libraries. Dhirubhai Ambani International School has annual fees starting at Rs47,500 (with a Rs 24,000 admission fee) and Mukesh Ambani’s daughter was made head girl.

An interesting thing to know is this: Has our culture shaped our faith or has our faith shaped our culture? I cannot say. To return to the question we started with: Why is Brahma not worshipped? The answer is obvious: He has nothing to offer us. What he could do for us, create the universe, he already has. There is no gain in petitioning him now.

We Indians have to look inward. I have read a lot of mails in this regard which asks us to look inward and treat the world around us with care, not careless abandon! Like I tell my husband, we, each one of us, have to change ourselves from within for the collective good. We cannot always standby and blame the guy before us for littering. The general tendency is to think : This place is already dirty. My wrapper cannot do anymore harm. Or, why should I raise my voice against this injustice? See the crowd. They are not saying anything. Let us stick with the popular notion on this. Guys, every time we are faced with corruption or littering or the general welfare of the world around us, let us raise our voice, even if it is feeble. Somebody else might take courage too and soon, it will be a shout loud enough to be heard and reckoned with!

Disclaimer: This post is in no way intended to hurt religious sentiments and does not intend to target any community in particular either.

Did I just go on a vacation?

I happen to personally know a travel coordinator from hell! Unfortunately I happen to have used his services for five years now. Time and time again, I think that maybe I should just give him one more chance. Well, I just happened to give him that last chance. He screwed up so bad, that I have decided never to use his services. Ever again!

I have mentioned before about that fact that I am geographically challenged. So when it comes to travelling, I rather rely on somebody else. I know nothing about train routes and stuff. In fact, I hate trains. I can go one step further and safely say that I loathe travelling in them. I don’t mind those sitting journeys, but those overnight trips can really make me edgy. I prefer bus journeys, may be because the stinky toilets are not stuck to it. About a day before a train journey, the eating and drinking almost comes to a halt. I can assure you that in the past 5 days, I must surely not have consumed more than 500 ml of water.

I travelled to Mumbai. Was it that much awaited vacation? NO!!! I just want to pretend that the last 5 days did not happen. I cannot believe that we spend 5 days and a certainly ridiculous amount of money for nothing. The whole journey and the experiences amounted to almost nothing. So, now I am seething, knowing that, 5 days and a lot of money was wasted and I did not have that vacation that I so craved. It was terrible from the word go. By now you must have understood that I was dragged into this trip. There was a lot of emotional crap heaped on me and how I was not understanding why I should travel etc.

Like I said, I was on the edge. Once we got off the train, I told myself to stop cribbing and try and enjoy myself. I was really kidding myself. The accommodation that we ‘had’ to stay in was not really confirmed. We did not carry the address either, so we were at the mercy of the cab driver. And in a place like Mumbai, they fleece you like crazy. They can sniff an outsider. Mind you this was at 4:30 am. Now that we did not have a place to stay, we had to hunt for one. We did. And it was pathetic for the price we were paying.

Then we ‘had’ to travel on the local train. I was told that in Mumbai, you ‘must’ travel on the locals or you have not really experienced Mumbai. Well, if you ask me, I could really have done without that ‘experience’. The weather was humid, I just wanted to tear my clothes and get into a jeans n tee. But then, what am I thinking. What would the people we visit think about me! Ooops!

This gentleman that we visited was ill and his doctors have told his family that he is slipping away. Much as I felt sorry for him and his family, I had to acknowledge the fact that this man was just a neighbor to my in-laws. Yup! We went all the way to meet a neighbor! We travelled more than 2 days on stinky trains, paid hotel fare for 3 days, and what not, to see a neighbor. Can u imagine to what lengths we might go had he been a relative?? I shudder to think.

We just travelled to far and wide places in Mumbai, meeting people we could have really done without meeting. There was no time to shop or sightsee. Actually I did not care for it either. I just wanted out. I craved for those few trips that I made with my friends, where I could soak in the rain; dip into a pond, without a care. Then, it did matter how we got to our destination. Now, I have to watch what I eat, where I go, how I go etc, courtesy the fact that I have a kid. Then the whole thing of swine flu was looming large. I was worried sick.

The journey back was ridiculous. You see, we had waitlisted tickets, a fact that was kept hidden from me. We left the hotel at 10 am on Sunday, only to reach home the next day at 1 pm. We had to get off the train at 5 pm on Sunday in Pune because we did not have confirmed reservations. I was told that there are numerous buses that ply from there to Hyderabad. But as luck would have it, we managed to get tickets on the worst bus in the world, which was to depart at 7:30 and which finally started at 10 pm.

You must be wondering who is my travel coordinator, right? Well, that amazing person is my husband! Don’t laugh, you guys!!! I thought he might compliment me in the one area where I admit some weakness, i.e., travelling. According to his tales, he practically grew up travelling on trains and he knows many places like the back of his hand. Well, it looks like I have to invest in an atlas some travel books and some time on the internet if I have to travel ever again. Nope this travel coordinator is surely going to go out of business! I am not buying his plans, ever again!


Edited to add :

Shopping? You must be kidding. Where was the time? If you can count buying slippers to replace your broken one, then yes, I have shopped! We were so busy travelling like mad people from one end of Mumbai to another. I mean, none of the people we visited felt even remotely sorry for us knowing that we were travelling with an old lady and a young kid. They should have agreed to meet out. If I describe one of the eating experiences I had at a friends house, you' d really feel sorry for us. And the distance we had to travel to get there! Wow!

We did have a meal at the Leopold cafe and saw the Taj, both of which were vandalised by terrorists in November 2008. Leopold is back in business and there were those few tell-tale signs of bombs and gun shots. Sitting there, I realised how vulnerable the whole situation was.

I did not mention Neha on purpose. If there was ever a strain on our relationship, it happened this time. She really went berserk with all the travelling and the bad food. She practically lived on chocolates which gave rise to other issues. Travelling was a total nightmare. For some reason, my M-I-L who normally does not interfere when I disciplined Neha, decided to act up and interfered like crazy. So, every time I said no to a particular thing, that thing was promptly handed over by my M-I-L or husband. It did not take my tantrum free child too long to figure out how it works. She began daring me to try and discipline her. By the end of the trip, Neha even vocally said that she does not like me. It broke my heart.

When we got back, I had to really put my foot down and enforce some serious discipline. I am having to balance discipline and love very precariously now. It will take me a while to get things back in order. I am really fatigued in many ways. I am emotionally and physically strained by this trip.