Life's Like That!

I know a lot of people who tolerate abuse of some sort. Mostly women. But a lot of men too. Some women move hell and earth to separate their husband from his parents. Why can people not respect that fact that each relationship has its own rules? I detest being in the middle of anybody's relationship.It is sad to curb somebody's freedom and try and alter their behavior. Worse than that, is the way we condition our girl child to accept and 'adjust', because they are to be somebody's 'treasure' (paraya dhan) someday. We all know how much further from the truth the word 'treasure' actually is.

The story below, a real incident, has inspired me and I hope it does the same to you.

A friend, Janet, and I were discussing the other day about how some people complicate their life for no reason and walk around with a cloud over their head, when people who actually have been through misery, smile and spread joy.

Janet is from a well-to-do family who have lived in various places in India owing to her father's profession. She described her parents as very liberal-thinking, soft-natured people. When she was about 20-something, a family friend told Janet's parents about a nice boy. These family friends knew the boy's parents very well. They suggested Janet's parents meet them. Despite the fact that they were different geographical locations in India, Janet's parents agreed.

When her parents asked her what she thought of the boy, Janet said that he seemed ok during their brief meeting. When asked if she was ok with the idea of marriage, she told her parents that they can go ahead, since they had given it considerable thought. The wedding took place and Janet moved to her husband's hometown, very far away from that of her parents'.

After they unpacked at the hotel, they decided to go out for dinner. At dinner, she was in for a huge surprise. As they ate, the husband, Ravi made some rude remarks about her dress. At first, thinking that it was a joke, she laughed and looked at him, only to realise that it wasn't at all a joke. He went on to tell her that she was of loose character and that she was attracting attention and some other cheap stuff. Janet lost her cool and told him that she had nothing to prove to him or anybody else. She walked away from the restaurant and took a taxi back to the hotel. He came later in a mad rage.

Janet told him that she was not going to take that kind of behavior. She asked him to calm down and stay away from her. She called Ravi's sister and asked her if Ravi had mental problems. The sister admitted to something of that sort. Janet made the next call to her parents and just asked them to take the next flight and come down without telling them too much. How she spend the night in the room with that guy, is something I'll never be able to understand.

When Janet's parents arrived, Ravi was shocked and starting abusing them. The parents asked Janet to grab her bags and leave with them. They found out all they needed to know and decided that they were not about to leave their daughter to deal with her 'fate'.

• The parents did not ask Janet to 'adjust'.
• They did not fall down at Ravi's feet and ask them to forgive their daughter, for not being able to 'adjust' with him.
• They did not scold their daughter for making a mountain out of a mole-hill.
• They did not consider this the end of their daughter's life.
• They did not care what the society would have to say about this.

Janet's parent's attitude to life before her marriage and the way the handled the ugly situation afterwards, is commendable. I am sure it helped Janet deal with it, the way she did. She did not mope and fret but went on to study further. She is now married to a guy of her choice and has 2 daughters.

In India there is a common belief that if boys are not serious about their lives, not earning, are mentally unstable, or are of loose character, getting them married is a way of fixing things. They don't realise that they are putting a hapless girl to a lifetime of misery. What Janet goes on to say is that if there is a basic flaw in the character, there is no need for anybody to put up with it. And girls, should not consider such incidents as the end of their life.

Janet is an inspiring person and I am glad to know her. The strength she displays and her constant efforts to spread sunshine all around her, belies the fact that she has been through any trauma. I do wish all parents empower their girl child to stand up for herself and deal with ugly situations the way Janet's parents did. You have to be so sure of yourself and respect yourself to be able to handle life, Janet's way.

Benefits of Yoga vs Benefits of Drinking

This is just too hilarious. The benefits of yoga and drinking boil down to the same thing. Have a good laugh!

Dolphin Pose
Excellent for the shoulder area, thorax, legs, and arms

Balasana or Child Pose
Position that brings the sensation of peace and calm

Ananda Balasana or Happy Baby Pose
This position is great for massaging the hip area

Shalabhasana or Locust Pose
Great exercise to stimulate the lumbar area, legs, and arms


Setu Bandha Sarvangasana or Bridge Pose
This position calms the brain and heals tired legs

Cat Stretch
Position stimulates the midriff area and the spinal column


Malasana or Garland pose
This position, for ankles and back muscles


Halasana or Plough Pose
Excellent for back pain and insomnia



Have a great day and remember to give thanks....

A Lesson for Men

I just could not resist putting up this one.


Lesson for Men - Women gotta love this one!


A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner.

The woman took out her wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some wine with it instead of dinner?"

"No," I had to stop drinking years ago, the homeless woman replied.

"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" the woman asked.

"No," I don't waste time shopping, the homeless woman said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?" the woman asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless woman. "I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!"

"Well," said the woman, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going t o take you out for dinner with my husband and myself tonight.

The homeless Woman was astounded. "Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."

The woman replied, "That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments and wine."

Are we taking about the fairer sex??

I read this tag on Uma's page and it did not take me me more than a few minutes to attempt it. Yup, this tag was right up my alleyway. Though I was not tagged, I just could not resist listing at least ten things you have ever wanted or done which your gender is not supposed to.

1. At every store that has tools and tool kits, I am always checking if there is anything new that I can add to my collection.

2. My ultimate fascination with having my own house with a garage is to be able to saw wood and make furniture.

3. When my friends ask me what I want from the US, the unflinching reply always, is, a state-of-the art drill kit!!!!

4. I always hold lifts open for other people, even if they are men. It just happens very naturally.

5. If the fan, light etc at home conks off, I am the one who runs to the supply store and fix them if they are doable. I am always at hardware stores buying wires, adapters and such stuff. Otherwise, I stand around and instruct the handyman.

6. It is but natural in India, for anybody who comes home to install any equipment, to address the man of the house. If the guy has started off in my absence, I make him run me through the entire stuff just so I can troubleshoot. My husband is the last person who would be around when the equipment fails and is more often than not, the person who screws it up.

7. When I was working for a company overseeing its administrative and facilities management, if any equipment runs into trouble, I would be called to see what the fuss is about despite the fact that 99.99% of the employees were men.

8. When there is any ass to be kicked, and if the people wanting to kick ass knows me, they will rope me in to make it more effective. I always had to manage a lot of male subordinates at work, and getting them to do stuff is no mean task, and, believe me when I tell you, I can kick some mean ass!

9. My husband has never changed gas cylinders at home. I have to physically move and change it myself. I have lifted heavy boxes, fixed curtains, moved furniture, and set up an entire house in a day. My husband has left me with a house full of boxes only to return home to a fully set up home, with a warm meal, mind you!!!

10. There are too many things that I am doing now that does not leave me time to: learn to ride a motorbike, paint my own house, learn to use a drill kit, etc. I can sew, cook, clean and do all other such work that is supposedly feminine, but if given an option, I’d rather do work that gets my hands greasy.

11. If I could another point, it would be to be able to stand and pee!!! Ha ha ha!!!

I am not tagging anyone in particular but if anyone does feel like taking it up, please do so and drop me a comment so I can go read it.

Guys, please be patient with me. I have not left blogging altogether, I am just trying real hard to keep up. I will get back to regular blogging just as soon as I get my schedule in order.

Two weeks

Thank you all, my blog friends, for your wishes. You cannot imagine how overwhelming it was see all those comments wishing me luck.

Swaram's comment prompted me to write right way!!! :D

The month started on a very hectic note. I was suddenly propelled into so much at the same time. Not too distant in the past, I was hanging around for six years at home, waiting for friends/relatives to drop in. Almost like rain in a parched desert ( Yes. I love to entertain :D). Well, almost nobody did.

And now I took up work and there landed a friend with her two kids. As soon as I got wind of the jobs and knowing that I had to start right away, I called her to tell her that she should postpone her travel so that I could take stock of things first. She did not take it well (she normally can't handle disappointment). Actually, she took it rather badly. But I also told her that if she was still keen on coming, she just had to keep in mind that I was starting right away. Which meant that I would not be able to hang around as much. She was to stay at my place for 3 days.

Well, I don't think she got the drift. She suddenly did not have anything else to do for 3 days, so she expected me to take her shopping. Not a problem, I love shopping. She is not alien to this place. Day 1 was fine, but I thought she should have just carried on with her shopping without me on the subsequent days. The selfishness was kind of getting under my skin. I was a mental wreck. I was creating backlogs that I had no clue how I would be able to deal with. To add to that the physical exhaustion due to the heat and all that shopping, house chores etc was beginning to get to me.

The worse part was that when she confirmed that she was coming anyways, I went ahead and planned the meals (read - and bought groceries) for her visit. Me being a hardcore non veg, and husband a vegetarian, I look forward to people who have to put their canines and molars to better use!! But guess what?? She is a vegetarian on Thursday and Friday. And what was I supposed to do with all that meat. Suddenly a lot more confusion was thrown in (as though I did not have enough of it already).

To top it all, she had been suffering from a nagging cold. The cold bothered her and so did the heat. She would say she was ravenously hungry and eat like a bird. She would not tell me that she did not like a particular dish when I told her I was going to make it. For some reason she would tell me only after I made it. Lots of it. Then there were far too many things that they together as a family did not eat. If the son liked potato, the mother did not. If the mother liked eggs, the son did not. And then the daughter had a select few things that she ate. Can you imagine that I was cooking even at 11:30 pm??? Which person would feed their kid at that time?? Well, my friend from hell did!!! It began to get tiresome and I was like, "Leave already!!!!"

She finally did. I hated myself when I whoopied, but I just could not help it. You must be wondering that I must be so difficult to be with. Well, after careful thinking, I realised that I only saw her in her territory. This was the first time I saw her in mine. And boy, she is difficult to please! She really put my 'host' skills to test!

I ended up with tremendous backlogs at work, and I was racing against time to complete it. I hated being put in a position like this and was soooooooo angry. Only those who saw me knew what I was going through. I was tired to the bone. But I really wanted to keep that job. I love every bit of it.

My articles are being published. I have not gotten a single article so far for editing/corrections. Woooooooooo Hooooooooooo!!

The other job that I took up, requires physical exertion too. I am getting trained to teach yoga. I love it, people! But yes, right now, I am tired.

Working Woman

Now everybody who knows me, knows how eager I have been to get back to work; but on my own terms. I probably could not have talked more about anything else in the past three years. Prior to conceiving my daughter, I had worked with various corporates for about 10 years. I was surprised at the ease with which I fit into my role as a full-time parent. It shocked many of my co-workers, that I had taken a sabbatical. They laughed it off by saying that I would crawl back in 6 months time. Surprising, that 6 years later, I am still comfortable being just a mom. Ok, granted I had my moments when I wanted to kick the dusting cloth, laundry and cooking etc and just get back to work, but I stuck anyways.

With Neha hitting full-day school this year, I knew that my days in the sun were about to end. For my second innings, I wanted a job that I enjoyed. A job that did not demand endless meetings, crappy coffee, 24/7 dedication, being stuck in traffic, struggling to make it for PTA’s etc. I was so clear that I wanted to be there for my daughter when she gets back, hot fresh meals for the family, house in good order, etc (You see, the OCD is not likely to go away that soon). My husband thought that I was kidding myself and soon lost hope that I would ever get back to work.

As the days passed, even I thought I was kidding myself. But I relentlessly looked out anyways. But Wednesday’s classifieds kept calling out to me. I mostly give that section a miss because the kind of job that I am looking for, almost never gets featured there. But surprise of surprises, there it was. After the initial hesitation of ‘can I do it?, ‘Is it really worth it?, and stuff, I quickly send in my resume. In an hours time, I got a response! The liked my profile and wanted to meet me. The meeting went well, they asked me to send in a sample of my work. They liked that too. People, I am hired!!!! And I get to work from home!!! Granted that the pay is not the greatest, but I get to try my hand at something new. I walked away from that meeting with a full understanding that both parties are testing the waters. Which is good enough for me!!! This is going to be a good launch pad.

Before the above news could have come in, my friend just dropped in on Saturday morning. She is usually busy and normally never drops in and that too without calling. I knew then that this was something important. And it was. She wants to me join her in training. Again, totally do-able, and requires only 2 or three hours of my time, 5 days a week. Now, how awesome is that??!!! I am still pinching myself in disbelief.

Now you might all be itching to know what the two profiles are all about, I will let you know soon, Let me just start out and see how it goes. I am just happy with the opportunities and crossing my fingers, hoping that both will work out well.

I Know What I Did This Summer!

Neha and her friends at an Egyptian Resort

Woo hoo!!! Yet another long break!!! What prompted it on? Well, first it was the fact that I had not zeroed in on a school for my daughter. A lot of schools were done with their admission procedures. The school that I was aiming for were to start their admission process only in June and by then a lot of schools had already started their new session. Something just snapped in my head. I went totally bonkers. I could not believe that after carefully thinking this whole thing through, I had found myself in this situation. One of the popular schools around here started making me make a lot of trips there. I guess the guy was just waiting for me to get desperate enough and then he would have asked for money.

Then totally out of the blue this acquaintance calls me up for something and then casually mentions that she was struggling for her sons admissions. There was this new school that she was looking at, and wanted to just try checking with another school. I thwacked my head first (stupid that I was, because I had seen their pamphlet and not called them) and then called up that new school. Then before we knew it, we were happy with our choice and enrolled Neha right away!

Now that the school thing was out of the way, I thought that it was about time that I had Neha’s sleep patterns altered. She would refuse to sleep early and then get up just half hour before her school bus came. I was at my wits end. I told myself that I have just two months to do something about it, and the new academic year would mean longer hours. If she carried on the way she did, there would not be any time to eat breakfast. So, it was ass kicking time.

There were just too many things I had to get in order. All I knew was that : Neha had to sleep in her own bed, she had to sleep early, she had to get up early. Now came the execution of the near impossible. Those who personally know my daughter would understand my plight. She puts up a lot of resistance to discipline! So, I roped in my friends. I convinced them that they had to kick in an exercise regime for themselves. I then told them that this would be a nice way to get the kids up and about earlier. So I told them that I would take all the kids to the pool at 6 am, while they could walk. The pool was oh-so-empty at that time of the day and I would man these 4-6 kids in the pool. Then the rest was pretty easy. We were all charged for the day. We girls would all make breakfast, get even lunch out of the way (the husbands carry lunch to work), and the house would be all sorted out too. I had the other uphill task of cutting down Neha’s TV time. Vacations meant that she was spending a crazy amount of time in front of the idiot box. I would then coax Neha into playing or catching up on reading skills, etc. It being summer vacation and all, the kids deserved a few outings too.

In the middle of all this hullabaloo, the internet gave up. I was too pissed to call the phone guys up. It then dragged on for a bit. Then I once again had to change the wiring and stuff. I wanted wireless connectivity and there was a bit of trouble there too. I tell you, they have been testing my patience. The next time round, you can be sure that I will change the service provider.

So, my friends, it has been an eventful summer for me. What have you guys been up to?