Ok. I am back. I kind of succumbed to guilt and finally attended that hot summer wedding after all! ( I can picture Reflections laughing real hard at this one!) My mother-in-law is a sweetheart and I went just for her sake. I am just not able to say NO to her. But then again who can I say no to! But I was not happy about going. Oh, I fought real hard and in the end had to give up. I took the advice some of you gave and was a real sport too. Oh, the things I turned a blind eye to!! I surprised myself.
For my sake, I was glad I did not take my camera. And I sure hope nobody clicked me either. For most part, my jaws were on the floor in amazement. Don’t mistake it as an expression where I was dazzled by the outfits or the jewelry. Let me try and list a few things that got my goat:
For my sake, I was glad I did not take my camera. And I sure hope nobody clicked me either. For most part, my jaws were on the floor in amazement. Don’t mistake it as an expression where I was dazzled by the outfits or the jewelry. Let me try and list a few things that got my goat:
- Some people had lined up a few chairs and fashioned a bed out it. They snored too. Some were too lazy to do that and slept on the floor.
- The cacophony was just too much. The hall was huge. At the entrance, they had a band that was playing filmy beats, desperately out of tune. They were just banging and abusing their instruments. Somewhere midway through the hall was the Shehnai* type guys who were trying to lend some sanctity to the ceremony. And then the pujari’s** had mikes too and were chanting away to glory. Loudly. I am quite sure the heaven’s heard it. The combined noise was terrible.
- Except for about 10 people in that crowd of 1500 people, nobody cared a rat’s ass about what was going on.
- If those were the outfits some of the people wore at a wedding, I shudder to think how they might appear at home.
- Even the people in question did not bother to look well-groomed. You DO NOT want me to elaborate on this. O boy, I was shocked. Actually, I still am.
- The utter chaos. As the ceremony is in progress, they are figuring what they do not have and people are running all around town trying to get it to the venue on time.
- And yes, the single room where about 50 people (men and women, mind you) changed, including the bride.
- At one point, I saw the bride’s brother sleeping on top of the bed which was piled with things. These people can sleep anywhere! ANYWHERE!
- The bride till the previous day of her wedding, had not even decided where she was going to change to reach the venue. She even got many of us to shop for essential things just the day before. And yes, she reached about an hour late and everything went out of gear. In fact, the proceedings that lead to the muhurtam***, happened in about two minutes. I was just settling down to watch the proceedings when it got over too!
- There is this particular part of the ceremony where they are to rain rice on each others heads. It kind of reaches a competitive stage to see who can rain more. At one point, the groom took the whole plate, emptied it and banged it on the bride’s head. Some competitive spirit! I would have divorced him right there!
- With all the above happening, the 49 degrees centigrade heat did not even bother me.
And the wedding just went on and on. I sat through to the end (Simply because I thought that is the way to be) and stepped in wherever necessary. I looked all around me and thought: why do these people attend weddings just to come and sleep in the wedding hall? Why in heaven’s name is it so long? At every wedding people sleep like this. Is it not an indication to shorten stuff? Maybe they should do an hour or so of main stuff when the crowd is attending and do all the other stuff privately and elaborately at home. Everyone concerned will be happy. I am sure it is quite insulting to see all around you sleeping on the most important day of your life.
Since I am a Christian, one uncle approached me and asked what I thought about the Hindu wedding ceremony. I told him: “No wonder divorce and remarriage is unheard of. If the ceremony is so long, nobody in their right mind will want to sit through it again!” He laughed so hard and was very happy with my response!
* Shehnai : particular kind of music played at weddings
** pujari: Hindu priest
*** Muhurtam: Auspicious moment where a particular part of the ceremony HAS to be done. No matter what!
12 comments:
Ufff!
haha..was a good read. Im impressed that you made an effort to be part of it all. Good going. What did you finally wear?
Oh I knew u'll go.....like I said before u r a cool cat inside the house but once outside u r a rat;-D
Bins I've always enjoyed Hindu wedding...theres so much going on & they have some good entertainment value. Unlike in churches where u have keep mum when the service is going on here we can enjoy it vocally;-D.
I have fond memories of my friends & neighbourhood weddings in B'lore.
:) Now I miss you not having taken the camera - would have loved to see some pictures after the vivid descriptions you have given here (especially the dress sense).
My husband always tells me that we will never get divorced or remarried. We had two ceremonies - 1 his style and 1 our style and we never want another one again.
and I thought Mallu weddings were embodiment of confusions (perhaps just the Hindu ones).
Hey...glad you are back. I heard all the stories about the wedding including the one where the groom banged the bride's head with the plate! My mum was still in a shock when she was telling me about it. :)
Also about all the prayers, outfits and all the madness.
She did miss the bits about the bride's shopping chao's though. :)
My mum was praising you a lot as you managed to cope with all that with the lil one.
Honestly they should do something about the length of our weddings. I didn't see my wedding video completely till now coz its bloody long!!
Hats off to you Bins for going through all that in the 49degrees temp.
:) that did put a smile on my face. My! am amazed at your description, and do hope for your sake, you are not made to attend such mind numbing ceremonies! :)
Swaram: ? When u have the time, please elaborate. I would like to know what's on your mind. :D
An Open book: Is there a doubt? sarees of course. At the wedding hall, it was fine. Outside, it was a killer!
Reflections: Don't push it, woman! I am glad I went for my MIL's sake. She needed moral support in all that madness.
Friends weddings are always fun. Nobody is really judging you. At family weddings, u have to be all prim and proper. My personality feels so suffocated.:D
Colours: I agree about the confusion. About a half hour before the wedding, my MIL calls me and asks me to get some item that was essential for the wedding. WHAT?? Am I to go shopping in a place I have set foot for the first time?
I mean, all pujari's should have a checklist and all items MUST be procured before. My husband was send running around town looking for milk at 2 am!!! Now I call that utter chaos!
Divya: Neha was amazing actually. She was a total cool cat.She did very well.
Can u imagine, she did not have a white skirt for her wedding saree! That is the pits! And if she were nervous, I would understand it. So casual as though it was just another day! I asked her atleast two months back to make a check list. OMG, u shud have been there!
Onlooker:Thanks for stopping by. Normally weddings are fun. Like reflections said, lot of entertainment value. But this was one wedding I was better off missing.
Oh dear, that's all I cud say after just having to read all this stuff; how did u go thru it all? Am surprised though abt the last minute shopping n stuff since family members are full enthu from the day u nod ur head n say yes to the groom or vice-versa; dint have to go thru any of these in my wedding!!! Thank the Lord :)
Oh dear Butterfly !
Actually weddings are supposed to be lots of fun and it is meant to be an occasion that everybody will remember for life. From ur descriptions, I come to understand the total lack of planning that has been the foundation for the chaos.
Now a days, our Hindu weddings are being cut short (earlier it was 3 days, now its 1 day or max 1 1/2 days) - thanks to recession. But still, my vote if for a register marraige with a spectacular reception. What do u say ?
hahaha, ohh lala now that was a good read..glad to know that u went anyway...Humm people sleep in the wedding halls wowww, hahah for me thats unheard of and wen compared to the christain wedding ceremony and all, i guess this was chaos...Y do u all also have to change?? is that part of the ceremony?
Dunno why I do it when u still have 2 tags pending, anyways...
U've been Tagged!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOL about your description. I know an Indian wedding is quite something. My Indian friend just got married and his wedding was 3 days long!!!
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