Cluttered

Right now, the most depressing thought on my mind is that I am so tied up with everyday madness that even my mind is not capable of taking a vacation. Even if I mentally want to travel somewhere, there is just no scope of relaxing it enough. I have been trying to harness my thoughts for almost a month now, trying to get myself to relax, but I am just not able to. Even if I think about relaxing, my thoughts flit from different types of relaxation methods that I could employ. I am also beginning to think that maybe I do not like to relax anymore. And it is making me feel very sad. Not that I do not enjoy my day, but there is no empty moment. A moment, where I can think of nothing. My mind seems so cluttered.

I HAVE to declutter (Advice and help is welcome). Then I worry myself about where I can begin. Never ending madness. No I am not the kind of person who lies to myself. I have a grip on reality. I can laugh at myself too. I can also manage to take criticism. My husband would disagree. That is because I am so involved in pleasing my family, that it is a little difficult for me to handle criticism from him. I am so busy looking for praise from them. My daughter is too young to understand that. But she does let me know that she loves me, especially when she sees me upset. She also wants to get to its root cause, so that she can thulp him/her for upsetting me!

The list of things, that I have to accomplish immediately are:

Clean up the house – A place for everything and everything in its place. I sub-consciously feel important being needed to find anything & everything!
Find and train a full-time help
Find a job. Working from home, is the ultimate luxury. If working from home is achievable then I would not need a full-time help at home.

Accomplishing these things would make me really happy. Now that is really not a selfish or greedy wish list. God & Santa, please read my Blog.