Flying Menace

Now that summer is here, I will talk about a topic very close to my skin. Namely–Mosquitoes. :-D

Now clearly, what was God thinking when he made them. Ok, Ok, they have their place in the ecosystem. But only because, they were made in the first place. Seriously, I think God should have given it a miss.

Many years ago, Amitabh Bachchan had delivered this famous dialogue in a movie – Ek Machchar aadmi ko hijra bana detha hai! For many years, I tried to fathom what that dialogue meant. I almost seriously thought that a mosquito bite can change a man into a hijra. I still remember that I was petrified of coming in contact with a mosquito (wonder why!). But since I was living in Dubai and surely back then we did not have mosquitoes, at least in the area we lived. So we were all safe.

Of course, much later, I really understood what that dialogue meant. How silly and naïve I was. I was rather young too.

But getting back to mosquitoes and present day, they have really become smart. I used to live in Bangalore before moving to Hyderabad. There, at least in the good ol’ days, mosquitoes ‘sang’ (bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz) when they approached you. So you were aware and had the option of launching a counter attack. Like a fair fight. In Hyderabad, they stealthily approach you and quietly polish off a few litres. No jokes, they are quite large in size. Another thing. Earlier, when u run the fan on high speed, they did not have a chance to get at you. Wind speed would prevent them from flying. So, even when you knew they were around you could surely get sleep. But today they fly short distances, till they perch themselves on the bed, have access to your hand/leg and keep attacking. How devious!

Earlier, they would bite only on bare skin, now they can bite through your clothes. Is there a way out?

I remember a few years ago, a friend had bought a 3rd floor apartment in Bangalore. I asked him how he had the guts to keep his windows open and he said there is no way mosquitoes can fly this high. I stay on the sixth floor and these blood suckers can get to even the 100th floor. Via the lift! They also keep themselves abreast with technology.

I take my daughter downstairs to play for about 3 hours and I am at the receiving end of the deal. And if I dare forget to shut the windows at night, I had it. You know, when you get to the bedroom at night, you are looking for tell-tale signs. There is nothing. So I switch on GoodKnight anyway and hit the sack. A few hours later, I am splattering the walls. This exercise keeps me up for at least half an hour. There are times that I have found about 40 of them. Of course like in those ads where the machine becomes a frog and traps mosquitoes, I have become so good at catching them with my bare hands that I can almost turn it into a successful sport. I go about this whole exercise with an evil glint in my eyes. I remember, a few years ago, when I was visiting Nancy in Dubai. In the middle of the night, I could here continuous click, click sounds. I asked her the next morning if she heard too. She said she was the cause of it. She had one of the gas lighters with a flame and she was torching cockroaches. Can you imagine, in the middle of the night. Talk about sadistic thrills. I laugh about it till date.

I fancy buying those mosquito racquets one of these days. Turn them on and sizzle, sizzle. Heee ha ha ha. The problem is that I have to keep it away from Neha, lest she gets a shock.

But I am going to seek revenge one of these days. This is the point where you’d hear the sound track of evil laughter. But since I am unaware of how to do it, please go ahead an imagine it.