A little insight

I am an avid thinker. I try and make a difference in the lives of people around me. I make people laugh. My blogs might seem more on the serious side but don't let it fool you into thinking that I am a serious person. I am known more for my quick wit and ability to tickle ribs. I am also very passionate about parenting.
Anyway, as you read along, try and comment. It might just encourage me...

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Stand by me!

This song can propel me into the past like nothing else can. I heard it today after so many years. It made me feel as warm today as it did many years ago. Attached to this song is the memory of the most romantic thing somebody ever did for me.

I was shopping at a book store many years back, and they had this song playing at the store. There is something so simple and timeless and soulful about these lyrics. I was singing along and told this guy (a colleague) with me, that this is one of my all time favorite songs.

The next day, as I was busy at work**, I was completely caught off guard with this song playing in the air. I just looked up and there he was, grinning from ear to ear.

Nothing much needed to be said. The fact that he rummaged through his entire collection to find the CD that held that song to play it the very next day, was enough for me.

**And if you are thinking, "Wow! That was some cool office!" You bet it was. But we normally never played stuff like that on regular working days. Saturdays were a different ball game altogether.

Pssst: And if you are thinking that the 'he' I am referring to is my husband, you are sooo off target!

Stand by me "Orginal"inclusiv with River Phoenix
Link: - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FX--7gFHkU0

Friday, September 17, 2010

Asking For Trouble

All of you line up immediately. I need a kick in my ass! I really do. Why else would I do stuff like this?

Let see. Lemme try and give you the gist. You must have an idea about how I can attract trouble like flowers do bees. What I try and venture into in the form of help usually ends up giving me sleepless nights and frequent headaches.

I have friends, whose houses I watch out for when they are not around. I am not talking about the keeping-an-eye-when-we are-out-on-a-short-vacation/trip thing. That really is nothing. I am talking about the I-am-going-away-for-many-years, take-complete-care-of-my-house-thing. Then I have to check and get the house cleaned as a tenant leaves, advertise and zero in on new tenants, etc. Again, no sweat. I can do it. Just requires me to make a few extra trips to the house. Which I am totally fine with.

I have two flats under my wings, belonging to two friends. I don't mind keeping an eye on them. So far, there have not been too many issues. Since I do not undertake any of the monetary transactions, my conscience is clear too.What gets my goat is when I am required to stand in the middle an handle the other stuff. Though I make it very clear that I am only facilitating the whole thing, I still get embroiled in other nonsense. I am no real-estate agent, but I almost feel like one. An unpaid one!

One friend totally realizes that what I do is selfless and trusts my judgment. But the other flat ran into some issues recently. The earlier tenant vacated. But they left the house in a filthy condition. It had to be painted. Then came the cleaning. I went back and forth several times. I put up the notice for vacancy, several people came to check out the flat, at all times of the day. Again back and forth, proclaiming the virtues of the apartment, society, blah, blah. Finally somebody showed keen interest and I put them across to the owners to discuss monetary stuff. Finally, we got a tenant. I heaved a sigh of relief.

About three weeks after he moved in, I get a call from the tenant saying that he had some problems due to which he had to move back to his hometown. I understood. I mean these thing happen, right? So I called my friends and informed them. Then this tenant just vanishes, key and all, way beyond the mentioned vacating time. All attempts to reach him were futile. I freaked, and had weird thoughts of a suicide or murder in the house etc. Why would somebody vanish like that? I padlocked the house and told the owners, to write him an email before I take any action. Finally he responded saying he was a bit ill. (What? Are we living in the stone ages? Could he not call?) In the meantime, tenant and owner exchanged a few heated mails, with the tenant threatening dire consequences if his deposit was not returned etc. When the tenant called me (Now why did that have to happen??) and asked me for money(??), I told him that I do not handle any of the monetary issues. My job was to only convey to the owners as to what money was required to be cut from the deposit. But he still continues to call me asking me for assurance. Yesterday I told him that the delay was because he was behaving like an ass! Go figure!

Now the new tenants, they are another bunch of clowns. I hate people who chase when the money is theirs, but avoid when they have to actually give. They moved in to the flat (yeah the same flat mentioned above. We are not done with it yet!) in the beginning of September. The deal is that the tenant has to pay two months deposit and a months rent check (made out to the owner) in advance before the keys are handed over. I insisted on a check, so they gave it to me and told me to hold on for a few days before I deposit it. I could feel steam coming outta my ears, I wanted to beat them up(Do any of u blame me?), but I agreed. With the owner asking me about the checks periodically, I have been following up (Why? Why??) with the tenant. Now today, she sends me an SMS asking me to deposit only 1 check. Now what do they expect me to tell the owners?

This whole thing is really rotten. This is not my job. A little help (which I so love doing) is turning out to be a total pain. I am thoroughly uncomfortable being taken for a ride like this. I am just gonna go ahead and deposit both the checks, and say, "Oooops!"

Monday, September 13, 2010

Weekend Woes

Yup, I allowed the husband to do it to me yet again! Now before your naughty minds start wandering, let me elaborate. You guys might remember the 'Mumbai trip' I went on last year. Just before the scars could heal (yeah, it takes me a bit of time!), my husband (a klutz, when it comes to travel) has gone ahead and done it again.

When my husband said that he has a long weekend coming up, and that maybe we should head to Vishakapatnam, it did not make me jump up for joy. In all fairness, I cannot say that my husband has ever taken me on a hassle free trip. Even the honeymoon trip to Vizag (don't rub your eyes, you really did read it correct. We went to Vizag for our honeymoon. By the time the festivities died down, we were seriously poor!), he manage to pull of his signature klutziness. He wanted to show me around. After I got dressed in a nice dress with white pants, he came up with a brilliant idea. 'Why don't we bike it out?' he asked. So we went and borrowed his brother's bike. And by them we reached home, I was wearing brown pants! It was covered in slush. I must have forgotten to mention the affinity my husband has for potholes. We might be on the left lane. But far ahead on the right if there is a pothole, we will surely go through it.

Anyways, getting back to our trip recently, till the day of our travel, the train reservations were not confirmed. It finally did come through though. I can never sleep on train/bus journeys. So I spent the next two days in a sleepy haze. Then it is time to get back. This time, our reservations did not come through. So we spent half a day hunting for something that will get us back. We had two cranky kids on our hands too. I thought we could fly back. But people, can you imagine how much I was expected to shell out for a half our flight. 40K!!! Does money grow on trees these days? My family can fly to Singapore and still have money left over for shopping, with 40K!!

So anyways, we chose the bus, for which we paid double the normal fare. Again, no sleep! The driver slam-braked the entire journey. I kept sliding down the reclining seat. The back hurts, legs are swollen, I tell you, it was pathetic. I wish I could have torched that bus! :D They don't make it for people.

I told myself that I will try and learn how the train system works, but I did not. I am just limping back to normalcy. I have begun to hate travelling, with a passion. The next time, my husband say the word, I am gonna bolt.

I hope you guys had a better weekend.

Friday, September 3, 2010


There are so many post in draft stages. The thought flow broke with a few distractions and I never seemed to able to get back.

The weekends go by in a blur! My husband leaves no opportunity to rub it in my face as to how much I am missing out on in life. He woke up at 6 am and went to play football. Got back at around 9:15 only to have tea, read newspaper, bathe, and have breakfast. He headed out at ten to play badminton. As he reached the lift, he told me not to expect him back before 5 pm. Now is he lucky or what!!! I wanna go out and toss a ball, play badminton, go for a trek with my friends. Boo Hooo!! Where is all the fun in my life??

Neha keeps tossing some funny stuff my way. The other day this happened:

I was busy pottering around the house, vaguely aware that Neha is mumbling something. Did not pay too much attention really. Then she asks me, "Mamma, are we Indians?"

Me: "Yes, Dear. Of course we are." (wondering what this is gonna lead to)

Neha: "Then you are my sister?" (Shock and perplex written all across her face)

Me: (Equally puzzled) "Come on. You know I am your mother."

Neha: "But the Pledge** says that - All Indians are my brothers and sisters."

Then I did what my motherly instincts indicated that I do in such a situation. I rolled on the floor and laughed!!

That kid of mine really throws these googlies at me every once in a while.

** The Indian Pledge. She says the pledge during school assembly.

Have a nice day!!

Monday, August 23, 2010

Finding and Keeping a Life Partner

Golden rules for finding your life partner by Dov Heller, M.A.

When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake.. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50%, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr../Miss. Right! If you ask most couples who are engaged why they ' re getting married, they'll say: "We ' re in love"; I believe this is the ..1 mistake people make when they date.

Choosing a life partner should never be based on love. Though this may sound "not politically correct", there ' s a profound truth here. Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage . When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me say it again: "You can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone"; You need a lot more!!!

Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you ' re serious about finding and keeping a life partner.

QUESTION ..1: Do we share a common life purpose?

Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you ' re married for 20 or 30 years, that ' s a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose.

Two things can happen in a marriage: (1) You can grow together, or (2)you can grow apart. 50% of the people out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life!

Bottom line; marry someone who wants the same thing.

QUESTION ..2: Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?

This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship. Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust - i.e. trust that I won ' t get "punished"; or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings. A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.

QUESTION ...3: Is he/she a mensch?

A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you test? Here are some suggestions. Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis? Are they serious about improving themselves? A teacher of mine defines a good person as "someone who is always striving to be good and do the right ";. So ask about your significant other: What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic? Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement. There are essentially two types of people in the world:

(1) People who are dedicated to personal growth and

(2) people who are dedicated to seeking comfort.

Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle.

QUESTION ..4: How does he/she treat other people?

The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure.

Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self- absorbed?

To measure this, think about the following: How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc.. How do they treat their parents and siblings? Do they have gratitude and appreciation? If they don ' t have gratitude for the people who have given them everything; can you do nearly as much for them? You can be sure that someone, who treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as well.

QUESTION ..5: Is there anything I ' m hoping to change about this person after we ' re married?

Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to "improve"; them after they ' re married. As a colleague of mine puts it: "You can probably expect someone to change after marriage for the worse" If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them. In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating; to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues. Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don ' t want to find yourself trouble because you didn’t do your homework. Another perspective... There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance.. It ' s amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not-going anywhere relationships. Observe the relationships around you.

Pay attention...Which ones lift and which ones lean? Which ones encourage and which ones discourage? Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill? When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse? Which ones always have drama or don ' t really understand, know, or appreciate you?

The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you...the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.

An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye"; Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don ' t let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don ' t fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren’t really that important.

Do you bring out the best in each other?

Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare and control?

What do you bring to the relationship?

Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?

You can ' t take someone to the altar to alter them . You can ' t make someone love you or make someone stay.








7. DAILY EXCHANGES (meal, shared activity, hug, call, touch, notes, etc.)




If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment withdrawal, abuse, neglect, and dishonesty; and pain will replace .

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Just rambling...

I am having a Tingling Tuesday. I am tingling to go shopping and blow up a crazy amount of money (which I don't have). Is there no good left in the world? Whatever happened to free makeovers for homes and people?? They don't seem to do that kind of stuff these days. Sigh! Wishful thinking!

Of late, I have become very impatient with impatient people. :D With my new found patience and icy cool exterior (I am working on the interior, too), I am handling the chaos around me rather well, thank you.

I have two friends, one who likes to steal thunder and another who hates her thunder being stolen. The other day, they both landed up at my place. After about 20 mins, my eyes started rotating in its socket. They were both talking at the same time trying to outdo one another to be heard. Yeah, it was fun!
Also, I wonder :

- why there are 21 followers on my dashboard, but when I get into my page, there are only 20.? Hmmmmm!!!

- why is it that if I have (let's assume) 20 followers, I get only 4- 6 comments? Come on guys, I am sure you can find it in your heart to type in a teeny, weeny comment. Yeah, yeah I know I can add on some gadget/feedjit kinda thing that will let me know how many hits I've had. Actually, I did try, but it seems to have been programmed to get into my mailbox rather than feature on the page! I seem to have two left hands!

- where 80% of the bloggers on my blog roll have gone? Some have not updated for months, one as long as a year. Solilo, Where are you?

That is all I have to rant about today. Have a nice day!

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Spreading Joy

I don't know if I have done this post before and frankly, I do not think I can stress on this topic enough. If you have never tried out Random Acts of Kindness before, go on, get out there and try it out. I am not so sure about 'what goes around comes around', but I can sure give the Butterfly seal of guarantee, that it will leave you feeling good and smiling for days.

I had read about this years ago some place and it stayed with me. At times, I have wondered whether I should do it, but on those occasions, I walked away from that place miserable that it occurred to me and I did not go through with it.

I think I must have mentioned earlier too that I try and do at least one selfless deed every day. Especially to those, who can make do with some kindness. It could be as simple as carrying the grocery bags of an elderly person, or paying medical bills of someone that you know can't really afford it, paying your house-help's child's fees. It can be anything.

Today I was so glad that I visited a friend, who gave birth to her second baby last Sunday. Actually, I befriended her just about three weeks back. And since we are this huge bunch of people, who hang out while our kids are playing, I have been trying to get people together to go and see her. Normally I try and pool in resources to pick up gifts, go out and actually buy the gifts ( yeah, yeah I hate thoughtless gifts), etc. Most times I end up forgetting how much and who owes me. I hate that part actually, when people forget when the owe somebody money. I try not to let it get in the way of making somebody happy (huge sucker, huh?).

But I was unable to pull it off this time, and frankly was tired that I had to try so hard. She stays nearby and the hospital was far. People were even saying things like 'Anyway she is going to come home in day or so' and stuff. So this morning, as I was about to start working, I decided to just hang everything and visit that friend. I checked with one person whether she wanted to come along. We stopped at a store, picked up lots of gifts and went visit my friend, Smitha. Since Smitha had not been answering my calls since Monday, I knew I was taking a chance. I was not sure if she was discharged from the hospital either. I checked at the help desk with whatever sketchy information I had. We traced her, only to find out that discharge procedures had started. I ran in, told security that I was here, to help take the patient home (it was not visiting hours!).

Smitha was thrilled. Her thank you note minutes after we left confirmed it. She was depressed that she had no visitors, and she was owing it to post-partum blues. Smitha is new to the city and we are all the people she knew. Yeah, we have not been friends for all that long, but I am glad I went. I really made her day. Sometimes the extra effort is tiresome.There are dozens of opportunities staring you in the face. You might have to go that extra mile, but it is totally worth it.

If I have inspired you into Random Acts of Kindness, do write in and let me know.

Have a nice day!